Rat-A-Tat

This is a ratty E mail today because I am going to write about the subject of rat infestation. No, no...not the human kind, but rather the vermin that we all get shivers from seeing. At night their beady eyes shiver and sparkle under the moonlight, and some boldly scamper down the sidewalk or scurry across the street. Sounds like a pack of lawyers, huh? Hehe Forget that and I'll get serious for a moment.
About 50 kilometers from New Orleans, along the Mississippi Gulf Coast lies the sleepy town of Bay St. Louis, Mississippi. Bay St. Louis has always been a vacation town and a spot where many New Orleanians build their retirement home. But Hurricane Katrina mad land impact exactly over Bay St. Louis, and today there is nothing left of the town except rubble and, former residents residing in trailers as they rebuild and RATS.
It seems a rat infestation in Bay St. Louis's Old Town is beginning to gnaw at the nerves of the residents as they try to rebuild. Nine months after the storm, as the piles of rubble from what was once luxurious and or quaint housing fronting the Gulf of Mexico, there is still strewn across hundreds of kilometers of the Gulf Coast piles of debris. In the first months there were a few rats appearing at night, then came dozens, and now the government of the town say thousands have claimed Bay St. Louis as home.
Indeed, it is an allegory for the hurricane. Is there anything more degrading and disgusting than a rat infestation? Well, imagine your whole city being over-run with them. The mayor of the town says that calls to the police from downtown residents and business owners trying to rebuild there have increased dramatically, often begging police to poison or shoot the rats (Let''s hope a few lawyers get in the way of the bullets too). Residents now say the rats are fearless and boldly trot up and down the steps if buildings in broad daylight. The rat traps set by city rodent control personnel are useless. Spring traps are checked each morning and always snapped shut- but without a single rat in the snare.
Officials think that the rats work themselves free after being caught or just carry the traps away with them in flight. The reason sometimes hundreds of rats are lounging in the mess of what was once Bay St. Louis are many fold. But the mayor says the large number of wild cats that patrolled the city after the storm as re gone- either starved or themselves attacked by hordes of rats. So Bay St. Louis is "trapped like a rat" about how to rid them.
But alas! The city has decide to bring in rat specialists to clean out the vermin. Now if they could just do the same with the lawyers.....
What's the best way to deal with a cheating spouse? How about insect spray? No, no. I don't mean spray the cheater and his partner, I mean can itself, for that is what one woman in Athens, Alabama did when she caught her husband doing the nasty with another woman.
Here's what happened (You need not take notes...). According to local police a "nosy neighbor" called, Cornelia Smith, the cheated wife woman (she used "Raid" spray, so I will call her "Raid" from this point onward) at work and told her that her husband was at their apartment having sex with another woman. Raid headed home to confront her cheating husband. When she entered the door of the apartment and saw the two humping she grab a big can of Raid Roach Spray and proceeded to hit the husband in the back of the head. Not finished, she turned on the lady and also hit her in the head, opening a huge gash that later required stitches.
Hmmmmmmmm maybe she should have just sprayed those tow vermin and not left any evidence of an assault. Raid, 26, was arrested on a charge of domestic violence and released from jail after posting a $1000 bond. No truth to the rumor that Raid Corporation wants to hire Raid Smith as the new spokesperson in new ad campaign that says "Raid kills both roaches and cheating husbands".