Weird Books

Since I am "slightly" weird it should not surprise you that I have weird books on my mind.
It all started after I saw the title of a book while browsing at a bookstore. It is 'Why Do Men Have Nipples'? I didn't read why, nor do I care. But it made me wonder why someone would even ask the question, much less write a book about it.
Oh.,.. I do have nipples to. But doesn't everyone? Maybe this is an important question that we must all answer, but as far as I know until recent times the only nipples of interest for most people were the female ones that possess the eye of men. But maybe I should give my nipples more respect and read that book to find out why I have them. This has caused me to investigate the subject of weird books.
Now I assume that the title of a book does not necessarily make it weird. For example, a book entitled 'Hemorrhoid World' might just be a scholarly and helpful treatise for those who suffer from butt aches. While 'Change The World 9 to 5', a real book that sounds weird but isn't is an innocuous book full of suggestions to help you make the world a better and happier place through everyday actions you take.
So I am going to give you some Weird Book titles. Some of them may be weird books, others not. It's up to you to read them all and report back to me on the weirdness level, because I am not going to waste my time doing that. Here are a few of the Weird Book titles I found in my search for them.
- 'Flattened Fauna: A Field Guide to Common Animals of Roads, Streets and Highways Revised'
My God! They revised that one too. Hmmmmm I guess it isn't too weird to making meaningful the experience of seeing dead animals splattered on the highway.
- 'How To Defend Yourself Against Alien Abduction'- George Bush probably read this book (I assume he can read?). He always says he is defending us against phantom terrorist plots. Maybe he should set up an "Alien Homeland Security" Department in his cabinet.
- 'Does The Earth Rotate? NO'- This one was written in 1919, so I shouldn't pick on it. But I am weird and can't resist taking at shot at it because of the title. The author wanted us to believe that the earth not only doesn't rotate, it doesn't move. Hmmmm How are those aliens Bush is defending against going to get to us if we stay still?
- 'Authentic Dreams'- Wait! Can there be inauthentic dreams? I think if we dream anything it's authentic since all dreams are fantasies.
- 'Brainwashing is a Cinch'- Well, I assume Al Quida and all the rest of those crazy fanatical Muslims read this one. It's a manual in how to brainwash people and suggests using sleep deprivation as a easy way to brainwash. I guess those space aliens know about this, so when you are abducted you might as give in to them.
- 'If We Can Keep A Severed head Alive'- No, it doesn't suggest ways of keeping a severed head alive, but rather the ethical argument for experimenting on doing it. Sounds extra weird to me, and a little impractical. There isn't much occasion to sever a had and keep it alive. But then...after writing this dumb E mail today you may want to sever mine to keep it from further function.
- 'BISA'- The title doesn't tell the whole story, This book centers on the esoteric subject of "gynecomoammology", in which a person's character can be revealed by examining her breasts. Hmmmmm You seem like a nice lady, but would you mind stripping now so I can check to make sure? Hehe
- 'Why Jesus Was a Man And Not a Woman'- It says that God need a male because men are more tempted by sex and...oh....I can't make this sensible. I always thought Jesus was male simply because men are inferior beings and Jesus was supposed to be flawed.
- 'Parables From Stamps'- Yep! this weird book says we should look at postage stamps to learn lessons from the Bible,. Supposedly, the stamp is loosely connected to some message in the Bible. Well, I am looking at the Winnie The Pooh stamp I got at the post office yesterday. Can you help me find the Biblical reference there? I know you already think I am a little weird, and I should not read these books to increase my weirdness quotient. But I wonder who actually reads them and how many copies of these books are sold.
Hmmmmmm It's a weird question I guess. maybe I should write a book ('Weird Books To Love'???) about