Spam Update

It is time for an E mail spam update, all because I love that spam (especially when it doesn't infect me) AOL has released a list of "top ten most devious E mail spam lines" and I recognize quite a few. Here is the top ten according to AOL:
1. Donald Trump Wants You- Please Respond (No offense to you, but I doubt Trump wants anything to do with either of us)
2. Double Standards New Product- Penis Patch (I never got this one and wonder why. But how does one patch a penis anyway? Does it have to leak first or can I get one of those patches now? 3. Body Wrap" Lose 6-20 inches in one hour (Maybe they slice and dice you first, throw away some of the fat and leave the rest in the freezer, minus those 6 to 20 inches)
4. Get an Apple iPod Nano, PS3 or Xbox 360 for Free (Maybe, but the shipping probably costs $150)
5. It's Lisa, I must have sent you to the wrong site ( I am intimate with Lisa because she is the same lady that sends me that E mail saying "I think your sexy. Let's hook up". I just wish Lisa wouldn't ask me to "hook up" at the adult pay site she is advertising. If you get a hook-up message from Lisa, tell her I am out of bait.)
6. Breaking Stock News** Small Cap Issue Poised to Triple (Right, but they don't explain they mean you will suffer triple loses if you buy that stuff, not triple gains)
7. Thank you for your business. Shipment notification 77FD87 (Gee. Its nice of them to thank me for something I didn't do. Should I send a thank you spam to them too?)
8. IMPORTANT Your Mortgage Application is Ready (Wow, they are giving me mortgages without even asking. Maybe they could hook-up "Lisa" with one of those mortgages too)
9. Thank You. Your $199 Rolex Special is Ready (No thank you, I wanted the $299 Rolex Extra Special)
10. Online Prescriptions Made Easy (Thank God their not also doing Online surgery)
Ridiculous, huh? Not my stupid parenthetical comments, I mean the spam top ten. One would think that a person seeing those E mail pitches would laugh at them or delete them before even opening. But it is not so. Spam, even crazy spam like the top ten list above, works. The Internet security firm Mirapoint says that 33% of us click to open spam (Yes, I am one of those who open them...I can't resist the stupidity of the pitches they make) and 1 in 10 actually buy the products of spammers (NO! I am stupid, but not that bad. I have never done it).
Mirapoint also says that 18% of E mail account holders actually try to "unsubscribe" from the spam by clicking on the unsubscribe link in the ads. (Of course, clicking on that just gives the spammers a way to identify that your account is active, so they will send even more spam to you) Over one half of all Japanese Internet users say they actually send spammers angry replies.
But those spam ads do have appeal and that explains why 10% of E mail users buy their products. After all, most spam E mail is about money, drugs and sex, the things many humans find irresistible....I know I am wondering about "Lisa" right now..Hehe Maybe we can "hook-up". What's the latest trend in brothels? Oh..I am not implying that you know all there is about brothels, but merely ask because I read a news article about that subject. Well I guess you give up, so I will tell you that it is the "Beginners Brothel". Yep, a brothel in Berlin, Germany has become the first to offer special deals for virgins who have a romp with its prostitutes.
The brothel is in the red light district of Berlin and is training it's ladies to deal with customers who have not yet done the nasty. For 60 Euros per half an hour (prostitution is legal in Germany) a beginner can be guided through the art of sex by ladies who specialize in virgins. The hookers are given "sensitivity training" for all first time clients, who the brothel says are most often 40 years old or older because "the girls need to be aware of how much courage it takes to go to a brothel that first time."
Yes I guess it's hard out there for the virgins of Germany, and probably harder to find any of them too. Hmmmmmmm I wonder if they service married virgins too? Nowadays there seem to be some of those too.