Beauty Pageants

Those international beauty pageants are usually silly but what happened in the Miss World contest earlier this year got me to thinking about beauty pageants. Oh, in case you didn't hear about that Miss World pageant, the wrong winner was crowned and bringing about utter chaos as the "wrong" 2006 Miss World, a lady from Costa Rica sobbed the usual beauty pageant teary display with the announcement.
The actual winner, Miss Russia stood by in disbelief (the pageant was held in Russia, so she was shocked she didn't win). It took a few minutes before the correct winner was s announced, but by that time Miss Costa Rica was crying real tears, not the beauty pageant ones, and several contestants were in near riot mode screaming that it was all a fiasco.
So, are all beauty pageants a fiasco? Obviously, I am no beauty and was never in one. (Hmmmmmmmm But I could be your E mail beauty King is f you want?), so I don't pretend to understand the whole beauty pageant mentality, But as an observer I have a few opinions about them.
I think those things became popular after W.W. II when nationalism was renewed and countries wanted to show they had the prettiest ladies. There also began the male equivalent of the beauty contest- body building contests. At least those are more honest and base winning on physical appearance rather than the many nebulous categories of female beauty pageants.
No they have beauty contest for children, small ones. It's odd a parent would want to parade their 5 year old and have her sex appeal judged. isn't that a bit young for preening? I like to look at pretty ladies in swimsuits, but 5 year olds in bikinis don't excite me (Thank God!) But there are two big international pageants for big girls that seem to define how all the others work. They are Miss World and Miss Universe.
The country that has won those two titles the most is Venezuela, the home of make-overs, plastic surgery and endless beauty pageants. I guess it pays to start the little ones early if winning the big two beauty pageants is the guideline. But what is the value of winning so many. Are ladies in Venezuela the prettiest, or does that country just make the most effort to win the pageants. And after they win, so what? Who will remember who is Miss Universe or where she lives?
I think I would remember the winner of the Mister and Miss Leather who sling their leather covered bodies around, or the Miss Plastic Surgery Contest of Beijing where the contestants there, unlike those of traditional beauty pageants, admit to plastic surgery enhanced faces, boobs, legs and butts. At least they aren't phony, preening the stage with artificial smiles artificial boobs are better. Hmmmmmmmm Miss Cleavage, Mister Bald, Drag King. Miss Klingon, Miss Bad Hair Day, Miss Armpit, Miss Gothic. Hairy Chest Lord.....Now those are the interesting types. It may not be pretty, but they are fun and closer to reality than we want to believe.
How about this for a crazy lawsuit? A man in Rochester, New York is suing an auto-parts store for assault and battery after he attempted to hold up the business and employees responded by beating him with a metal pipe. Yep, Dana Buckman, 46, walked into an auto shop brandishing a semiautomatic pistol last summer, only to have it turned on him by two AutoZone employees. The men beat Buckman with a metal pipe and held him with his own gun.
Buckman escaped but was arrested a week later. He pleaded guilty to first-degree robbery and was sentenced to 18 years in prison as a repeat violent felon. But wait! Buckman claims the men chased him out of the store and continued to beat him. He is suing the auto shop and the men for the injuries he suffered and for emotional distress. "In some respects, you wonder if a case like this even needs a defense. It speaks for itself," said lawyer Patrick B. Naylon, who represents AutoZone and the employees.
But lawyer Phillip R. Hurwitz, who represents Buckman, said the employees crossed the line by pursuing Buckman and attacking him. "The danger was past," Hurwitz said. "These two employees took it upon themselves to go after Mr. Buckman after he left the store." Of course, Thief Dana isn't really suing the two employees, who have no money for Dana to take. He named them in the suit, but it is AutoZone that has the money Dana thinks he can steal the "legal way"...with his crazy lawsuit. If a jury agrees with Dana someone ought to sue them for ignorance.