Smokey Flights

I read about a new, but risky, business idea from Germany that isn't just "blowing smoke". It's a revolutionary concept in these days of ardent non smoking crusades. What is it? It's the smoker airline. Yep...a German entrepreneur wants to create a nostalgic smokers' haven above the clouds by starting a smoker friendly airline.
Now this would never happen in the U.S. and some other nations that have labeled cigarettes for the cancer they are. Here FAA rules forbid smoking on any airplane over U.S. soil. But Germans are not so anti smoking, having no mandatory anti smoking guidelines for airline flights. But the Smoker's International Airways is set to start soon with a route from Tokyo to Duesseldorf, Germany, two cities that have a very high number of nicotine addicts.
While the idea may work there, I doubt too many people, even smokers, like the prospect of a plane full of passengers puffing away in a plane whose interior that may look like a wheezing old factory's fire stack. Can you imagine breathing in that atmosphere? Well, Smoker's International can and will offer all seating smoke enabled, cigars served, caviar and flight attendants dressed in designer uniforms in planes deigned for 400 seat, but containing just 138 business and first class (very pricey) seats.
While I think the addicted smoking crowd will like this idea, I wonder how many people fit that profile. Can the airline sell all its seats to such a small number of nicotine addicted folks? Maybe.... but if not, I have my own ideas for other "special interest airlines". Hehe If you are willing to invest in any of these just let me know. Here are my alternative airlines.
* Cell Air- Yep. Anyone riding on this one can use his or her cell phone the whole way. They can be as rude and annoying as they wish and no one will care because all the other passengers will be just as obnoxious.
* Baggage Unlimited Air- We have all seen and been impacted by people who "don't need to check in luggage" for their flight but seem to have 4 or 5 carry on bags. Well, this airline will allow anyone "an all you can carry" passenger load. Just bring as many carry-ons as you like, but sign a waiver not to sue when that baggage flies about the cabin or happens to take over 1/2 of your assigned seat.
* Baby Air- Only screaming babies and mom and dad are allowed on Baby Air. This will be great for the single and childless passengers who endure those 12 hour flights with all those "cute babies" and clue less parents who both make enough noise to ensure no passenger can sleep even a second on the flight. Now we can fly free of crying babies on regular airlines and maybe get one of those bulkhead seats with the extra room that babies always get instead.
* Casino Air- This one will make billions for the airline. How about a big plane that has a gambling casino on board for a select few wealthy types who want to be entertained on long flights? Yep! It's an airline casino. And those prostitutes that always hang around casinos to ply their trade...they can be let on at half price and use the back of the plane to lay for pay. Who said flying can't be fun!
* Flirt Air- Every man will surely love this one, but ladies are also welcome to flirt on Flirt Air. I envision a crew of about 25 sexy men and (mostly) women steward and stewardesses who will dress revealingly and allow passengers (probably mostly we piggish men) to pinch their butts, leer at their bodies, talk dirty to them, or just arrange a date for after landing. I think men would pay a fortune to ride on this one.
* On Time Air- This airline will get you to your destination within 30 minutes of listed arrival time computed from the moment it departs to your destination or it will issue you a free coupon for your next flight.
* Lottery Air- On Lottery air one lucky passenger will win free flights for six months if his or her seat number is the one drawn by the cabin steward or stewardess after the plane lands (unseated passengers are ineligible for the drawing...this should keep them in their seats until the plane arrives at the gate).
* Singles Air- All; the passengers on this one are eligible singles who promise to try to find their true love on the flight. After purchasing a ticket the passengers will be given profiles (at Single Air.com) and pictures of all the ticketed passengers so he or she may prepare in advance to find true love. Condoms not required for this flight.....
Well, those are a few ideas off the top of my brainless head. have you any other suggestions besides calling the nut house to take me away)?