Apologia

Have you had enough of those pious celebrity apologies? Even Socrates would get a tummy ache listening to them. Now, although the word "apology" is the direct descendant into English of the Greek word apologiaía, the meaning has changed. Socrates was not apologizing or making excuses when he tried by the Greek state for his alleged contrary thinking. He wasn't sorry, and neither are those hollow celebrities.. The Greek word apologiaía simply and precisely meant a defense, or a defense speech. This meaning has been preserved in English in some related words: An "apologist" is still someone who argues a defense of someone or something, and "apologetics" is still a discipline or system of argued defense of something, usually a doctrine, cause, or institution. And Hollywood has now made that kind of apologia an art.
Why are so many celebrities and political figures apologizing publicly these days? This is the trendy way of saving one's career and marketing ability. So when Cameron Diaz is photographed innocently carrying a bag in Peru which featured a political slogan, "serve the people", and a red star likely to be considered "offensive" to the local people, she issued for "evoking memories of a Peruvian war against Maoist rebels in the 1980s and '90s, when up to 69,000 people died" Of course Diaz admitted , bought the bag at a market in China, had no idea of the slogan's "potentially hurtful nature".
When Paris Hilton finally got what she deserved, jail time, even before being released from the slammer a statement of "apology" was issued and one hour interview of self flagellation was set up for CNN the day she was released from jail. Ugh...I smell insincerity on Paris but she is not alone in using the apology tactic (I will apologize for my stupid E mails if it make you feel better). Radio talk show host Don Imus "apologized" for hurting the feelings of a female basketball team earlier this year and was fired after, politicians are caught stealing from the public apologize (but if course blame their deed on alcohol, innocence or on someone else), Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson and a cast of many more all seem to be professional apologizers, often for innocent behaviors that are none of the public's business Yep, a smart celebrity knows when he or she is beat and it's time for a phony apology. For the good of the community, to mend friendships, and most importantly, to save a career.
So being a devilish sort of fellow (I apologize for that too) I was thinking about some apologies certain celebs might want to give to us to make us happy at seeing their misery and humiliation, but so far haven't yet been told to issue. How about these apology suggestions?
- Any Rap singer for insulting women, decency, our intelligence and pretending his or her songs is really "music"
- George Bush for EVERYTHING he does.
- Reality TV for making silly staged, vacuous nonsense seem somehow "real"
- Bill Clinton for carrying a Bible in his hand when "apologizing" for having oral sex with Monica Lewinski
- All Fundamentalist Islamics who think that murder of innocents of all persuasion is a Godly thing
- Julia Roberts for allllllllllllllllllllllll those terrible films and the overacting she forced on us - Microsoft for Windows, the technology that is never easy to use.
- Hollywood celebrities for pretending to be scientists warning about imaginary "global warning" threats as they personally waste 1000 times the amount of energy and resources as we little people.
- Who ever invented those stupid plastic containers with the snap lids.
- Every celebrity who gets caught in a scandal and then checks him or herself into a "rehabilitation center" as an act of contrition
- Michael Jackson...just because his boys deserve to hear one
- Tom Cruise for taking himself and Scientology too seriously
- liberals for being conservatives, conservatives for being liberals, Christians for being infidels, Muslims for hating infidel Christians...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh let's just forget the whole thing...no apologies needed.