Cell Shoppers

Shopping for groceries is not longer a simple or quiet task. The cell addicts have taken over the grocery stores in my city and I just wish they would hang up and shop. Yep...it's another cell rant from me. Don't blame me though. They made me do by torturing me with their idiotic phone chatter. It has caused the instability in my brain you see today.
Just yesterday they tortured me again, aisles cluttered with cell phone chatter, babies crying as their inattentive parents giggle on their phones and ignore them. Young children annoying adult shoppers and riffling through store merchandise as mom or dad gabs on the phone in ignorant bliss, my cart blocked by shoppers who block my passage while asking their spouses which sausage to buy or if they need that chicken that is on sale today, loud personal details of little Sarah's bathroom problems shouted to all within 100 meters, teenage girls whispering seductive offers of romantic interludes to their boyfriends with promises to finish shopping soon, apparently normal humans actually calling their son in the store to ascertain if has yet found the tissue aisle and what prices are on the tissue he is spying, a dimwit lawyer consulting a client while handling the beef roasts, mind numbing cell phone ring tones blaring throughout the store, collisions of carts due to cell grocery cart drivers, and more! I could go on but that is just from yesterday's shopping trip.
Why can't those cell freaks leave their phones alone in a grocery store? Are their lives so empty that they are glued to and dependent a phone 24 hours a day? Am I not right in insisting that cell phone chatter in public is rude, equivalent to farting in the bread aisle? Does this kind of behavior make us all a little more detached from reality, the ultimate irony for those who must always "be in touch"? Well, there was one good cell incident. It was the one in which a woman dropped her cell phone on the floor as she tried to juggle a conversation (it was about "nothing", as most cell phone conversations are). It was inoperative after the fall and I smiled contentedly in recognition that there must be a cell phone God above somewhere who meets out justice to the worst offenders and offers relief to we who disdain the technology that is killing civility world wide.
Forget the crudity of cell phones for a minute...For I know love is also in the air this time of the year, but apparently the pasture ozone is more conducive to hanky-panky than anyone would have imagined. According to police in rural England, a passerby summoned them to an English farm after he spotted a teenager wearing nothing but black briefs apparently having sex with a cow.
Richard Parish, who owns the farm in Skipwith, North Yorkshire, told The Sun that he believes the object of the youngster's desires was Blondie, the friendliest of his three prize longhorns. "English longhorns are lovely animals -- but not that lovely," he said. "My mates are having a right laugh and milking it for all it is worth." The person who allegedly saw the teen yelled at him, apparently scaring him off. By the time police arrived he was gone. But officers on night patrol have been warned to keep their eyes open, in case he goes after Parish's herd or another one.
In that silly nursery rhyme we all have heard he cow may jump over the moon. But this love struck bovine lothario wants more to do with the cow's moon than to merely observe it.