The Jerk With The Cell Phone

A couple of years ago Sprint, one of the demons that make cell phones available to all those cell jerks out there, called for Cell Phone Courtesy Month in July. Of course they wanted to make their connections to cell abusers less tied ("I just sell the phone, not abuse their use...blame the cell jerks, not me"). But did anything change? Are things getting better for those of us who hate or just don't like cell rudeness? Nope.
Unfortunately, a Cell Phone Courtesy Month doesn't work if cell phone users aren't aware that they are not being courteous in the first place. And most of those dolts don't realize they are either infatuated ( the cell abuse will eventual go away when they realize their overuse of their phones) or addicted (sickos! They won't shut up because they are in love with their phones and see no possibility of being quiet). The failure of even such a small token of civilized behavior as a cell courtesy month shows I will probably be forever infuriated by the 20th century's worst invention- the cell phone.
But the other day while in Barne's and Noble bookstore I found some salve for my wounded psyche. It's a book I purchased by etiquette (You know that don't you? It's when society was polite, as in pre cell phone eras) expert Barbara Pachter, who authored the book “The Jerk With The Cell Phone: A Survival Guide for the Rest of Us” suggests some remedy's for handling the cell addicts. Most are to "politely ask" them to shut up when in public and inflicting their loud conversations about their hemorrhoids or whatever they babble about. I doubt it will work.
Politely asking Attilla the Hun not to invade didn't work w either. But Pachter even includes CPEG cards that are to be given to cell phone jerks when they are particularly obnoxious with their phones. No way will I give any of those to cell jerks! If I did, I have the feeling a cell addict might also be a gun addict and instead, silence me, not his or her phone.
The problem is that most people are clue less about what their phone use says about their personalities. They don't known their cell addiction shows undesirable traits about themselves. A survey by Sprint found that most people agree that cell phone owners are getting ruder. But most people said it was the other guy causing the problem, not them. Haha maybe you are the other guy...Face it, from the insipid and too loud child-like ring tones to blabbering too loudly about personal information you and I don't want or need to hear. They aren't going to stop screaming in their cell phones.
I know it doesn't drive you batty as it does to me, but the Prachter book is a kind of catharsis for me. It talks about some of those believable yet unbelievable cell phone horror stories, tells some delicious tales of revenge people have taken against cell abusers, gives strategies to surviving cell rudeness (I know, my personal best one is to rant about them once in awhile because it just feels good to talk it out), and has those cell etiquette cards to give to the worst of thecell abusers.
With disturbing frequency, cell phone users shatter the peace on trains, buses, in movie theaters, restaurants and grocery stores, among other public areas they have taken over since those worst of all adult toys were invented. They have also hit the road and endangered some of the motorists forced to share it with them. I guess besides making phone of cell idiots, the author is calling for etiquette in use of them. Even I know that cell phones won't ever go away. But I do wish they would walk about with a lighter foot when in my presence.
So if you see the book give it a look. It's funny and soothing to the cell abused's soul. Or better yet! If when you pick it up an hear a cell addict screaming into a cell phone...just throw the book at the cell addict as hard as you can.