Since I re-injured my back lifting a vacuum cleaner while cleaning the house Monday and feel no better, today you get an E mail that not only rants but rants in pain. Maybe the pain pills I am taking will make me hallucinate and finally make sense? October is a month I like very much because I am a fan of fall. But others agree with me, and that can be shown by the many activities that happen in October. It is a month in which the calendar is filled with special days....uh, some a bit obscure, but given the obscurity of my E mail I will elaborate a bit on a few of the things you should be honoring or participating in this October. Here is a schedule of just a few of the activities for October beginning with Oct 1.
Oct 1- Universal Children's Day (Isn't every day kid's day?) Homemade Cookies Day (my favorite is chocolate chip)
Oct 2- Feast Of The Guardian Angels (Are the angels eating ....or do angels eat...or are we supposed to eat in front of them to make them wish they were mortal again so they could eat?) Name Your Car Day (A person who names his or her car probably shouldn't admit it)
Oct 3- Music Lovers Day (It would be nice if on this day the world of music would honor itself by banning all rap music, Mariah Carey records and William Hung "She Bang" imitators) Federal Income Tax Day (I doubt anyone rejoices and celebrates paying taxes on any day)
Oct 4- International Toot Your Flute Day (Somehow this sounds like a porno movie title) Vodka Day (I guess it means we should encourage the drunks of the world to over imbibe so they can kill us while driving drunk?)
Oct 5- Long Walk Day (Admit it. You would like for me to shut, up, end the mail and take a long walk) Be Nice To Lawyers Day (Better to have a "Shoot the Lawyers Day")
Oct 6- Physician Assistant Day (Aren't those the ones that give the enemas? Forget honoring them!) International Frugal Fun Day (I guess you are suppose to ask people for money on that day)
Oct 7- Bathtub Day (When bathtubs get their own day and I don't I know it is time to clean up my act)
Oct 8- Tube Top Day (Sexy to look at, but is there a Tube Bottom Day?)
Oct 9- World Post Day (The Spam mailers celebrate this every day)
Oct 10- Bring Your Teddy Bear To Work And School Day (I'd rather they wear Tube Tops to work than bring their teddy bears)
Oct 11-'You Go, Girl' Day (Something Britney Spears and Paris Hilton actually understand) Coming Out Day (If someone gay turns into a heterosexual, is there a Coming In Day for them to announce it?)
Oct 12- Navratri (Look it up yourself. I have no idea what it is)
Oct 13- Train Your Brain Day (I have to first awaken mine)
Oct 14- Clergy Appreciation Day (I guess they leave the altar boys alone on Oct 14th)
Oct 15- Grouch Day (I will rant about cell phones twice as much on Oct 15th)
Oct 16- Boss's Day (Maybe you should actually do a legitimate day's work on this day)
Oct 17- Black Poetry Day (How come there is no Caucasian or Asian Poetry Day?)
Oct 18- Watch A Squirrel Day (Reading my E mails and observing me probably fulfills the requirements for this day) Boost Your Brain Day (Ok, you can ignore my E mail on Oct 18th)
Oct 19- Change Your Life Day (Can a person truly change his or her life?)
Oct 20- Shampoo Day (What do bald people do on this day?)
Oct 21- Babbling Day ( I celebrate this one every day)
Oct 22- Color Day (I wonder if we are suppose to color something, appreciate colors or wear that funny looking polka dot outfit we have in the closet)
Oct 23- Mole Day (The pimples of the world demand a day too)
Oct 24- International Forgiveness Day (For what should I forgive you?)
Oct 25- Picasso Day (Maybe this one should be the same as Color Day)
Oct 26- Mule Day (Only a jackass celebrates this one) Bring Your Jack-O-Lantern To Work Day (To help see the teddy bear, I presume)
Oct 27- Boxer Shorts Day (Underwear gets a day?)
Oct 28- Chocolate Day (On this day, the women of the world finally agree on something)
Oct 29- The Internet's Birthday (And the day we all lost contact with 90% of those not on line) Oct 30- Bodybuilder's Day (What does Mr. Bean do on Bodybuilder's Day?)
Oct 31- Birthday Of Juliette Gordon Low (I guess we are supposed to eat a Girl Scout cookie on this day). There you have it, enough to keep you busy for a whole month.
Did I miss any of your favorites?
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