Monday, June 29, 2009

Hoarding Things

Do you have trouble throwing out or donating old things you possess? I do. I have always been that way and think too much about throwing out what no longer use. Invariably, old stuff accumulates because I have an attachment to it or because I fear I will one day need to have it. So I out it away wherever there is space. I think the most accepted word for this is "hoarding" It's not that I am pathological and have mounds of junk in my house, just that I have too much extra that I should get rid of. Hoarding is not the inability or refusal to get rid of the extras or the old. Hoarding is about the fear of throwing something away that you might need someday, of not being able to remember it perfectly or that if thrown away it will cause a problem or that something bad may happen. Haha Ok, I am crazy for keeping it all.
I even have a cedar chest for Jane that I have filled with little memories of her childhood, a time capsule of sort. Neither I nor Jane has ever opened it and I have forgotten much of what I dropped into it, The idea is that when I am dead and gone (Bad luck for you! I am going to live long enough to finish this E mail) she will have a living record of some of the everyday events of her childhood.
My parents had a cedar chest too, and I have it now stored in my attic. There are things in there that are unidentifiable to me, some from my parents younger days, and other more recognizable things. I remember seeing some when I looked in it after moving the chest from my mom's home after she died. There is my mom's old and yellowed wedding dress, letters from my dad to my mom during W.W.II., my Spider Hat (a favored cowboy hat I was glued to as a little boy), pictures of all family members at various ages, Christmas stockings with out names that my mom sewed on each and even two with "Tiger" and "Dumbo" our two dogs (they were equal members of the family)....suffice to say there is more and it is a personal history of my immediate family.
I can never get rid of that because, like the other things in my house I keep, they are a part of my life. I am too sentimental to part with objects that are not practical. Why, throwing out my old childhood piggy bank or stamp collection would be like disposing of my liver. And not having to make the decision of discarding something practically means that I can't make any mistakes while doing so.
I have too much furniture, too many knick knacks, too many towels and shirts, too many dishes and pans.....too much of everything. I tell myself that I will throw out and give away some of that if I ever move again. Once I read an advertisement from a company that throws away stuff for the customer who has hoarded too much. The company sends someone and that person rationalizes why each piece needs to be disposed of. Supposedly, this makes the hoarder more likely to let it go. I would never use such a service because I know that after I did it, I would probably search every garbage container and flee market in the city to retrieve some of what I tossed out.
I think I am a sentimental person who likes the past (my life has been a happy one and I have few bad memories). Having those things makes me feel secure and grounded in the present, and I think the clutter isn't so bad ( most of it is stored out of sight. What do you think? Do I hoard too much? Is is bad or harmless?
Oh, by the way.....I do not keep either my mail or yours. Some things are hard to find worth retaining. Hehe

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