Healthy Foods

I hate it when people say that old cliche', "You are what you eat". It's not true and is manipulative. No one ever says that when offering to sell you donuts or ice cream. But I always hear "you are what you eat" when I am offered asparagus or brussels sprouts. They think that by coning me into believing that I will have a body like a Greek God if I eat that rubbish I will smile and take the asparagus instead of the donuts.
People manipulate us into thinking those nasty tasting foods are going to make us "healthier" and the yummy ones like pizza will make us look like the 400 kilo guys that have to be lifted out of their beds in the morning with forklifts. Even my mom used to tell little Jimmy (that was me years ago) that I should eat all the peas and carrots on my diner plate because "millions of kids in China are starving". Even then I knew that Chinese kids weren't; starving. Why there were six times as many Chinese kids alive as American ones. If anyone was starving it must to be the American kids, since there were so many fewer. I used to answer my mom the same way all kids did when their mothers told them to eat because someone else might be starving. "Well, mom...I am going to donate my peas and carrots to the Chinese kids today.
Mom was not amused by that remark until I actually ate those Chinese kids peas and carrots. But even now, as an adult people try to intimidate me into eating "healthy food". I have doubts about that healthy eating policy. First, few foods are actually so superior for the body that they are necessities. Secondly, eating too many of those healthy foods is bad for the soul, in that by doing it we eliminate the comfort foods (junk) that make us feel better "spiritually. Thirdly, the human body processes food of all sorts very well. It even makes good use of the donuts I eat and I have never heard my body actually request Brussels sprouts.
I wish the food police would disappear and let me eat my own way. Like just about everyone else in the world I eat a mixture of all kinds of foods, including the "healthy ones". Besides, even if I go on the tofu diet it will not make me look like Brad Pitt or feel like David Beckham. I know for a fact that some of the world's greatest athletes were junk food addicts, yet I do not declare junk food as "healthy food". It's just one alternative that we sometimes need for the betterment of our souls. Food isn't just for physical nutrition. It satisfies us in abstract ways too. I defy anyone to say he or she feels satisfied after eating salad!
So I am going to tell you some of the "healthy foods" that I don't want (I dare you to admit yours too), foods I think would have little or no beneficial effects if I ate them.
* snails, oysters, claims and salmon- I eat every other kind of seafood, so don't ask em to eat those
* salads- Yes, I hate salad, that leafy and tasteless mess that is the favorite of health food nuts. You ever notice how skinny and short those health food nuts are. It's because they eat too much salad.
* tofu- I need not explain my hatred for this! The world knows that tofu is not fit for human consumption, better to use this as wall paper paste or mortar for bricks
* peanut butter- I like peanut, but not peanut butter. The only things worse than peanut butter is peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
* ice cream combos- You know, those mixed flavors that make it impossible to identify any one dominant one. Putting two or more ice cream flavors together is like mixing oil and water. It makes an unrecognizable mess.
* trendy fruit- like durian, kiwi, and those exotic melons that look good but have no taste
* foods that are in grocery stores that are labeled as "heart healthy" foods-none of those has any taste other than that of dry and un fulfilling.
I guess you get the idea. I could go on and list other foods that I am supposed to like and eat but don't. But I think my rhetoric about this subject is probably already making you sicker than I get when I have to eat any of that garbage I am ranting about...