Buzzwords

There is a new dictionary out there that is the bible of buzzwords. You know, buzzwords. Buzzwords are important sounding words or phrases people used to impress lay persons. It's the "Buzzword Dictionary: 1000 Phrases Translated From Pompous To English", and I am here today to give you a few of those ridiculous words.
According to the dictionary a "buzzwack" is someone who likes making fun of people who uses buzzwords. So this makes me a buzzwack, at least for the mail you are reading. And there is even a buzzwack.com web site you can use to nominate something you heard that may be a buzzword. I visited and my head is "buzzying" after seeing so many of those buzzwords. Here are a few of my favorites.
* 404- this is an insulting term to describe someone who is totally clue less about something and comes from those "error 404" pop up messages we get on our injured computers. It's not a stretch to say that George Bush committed a 4040 when he invaded Iraq.
* Blahger- This is the word used to describe a blogger whose message consist of blah-blah-blah text....nothing of substance., if you want to see a Blahger, just go to any blog site. 99% of the entries are likely to be blahgers.
* Cyberslackers- Ha! Those employees who use the company Internet connection during work hours to surf the net, shop, play games, check porno. I assume Cyberslackers are also blahgers. * Cellular Macarena- My favorite term, given my hatred for cell phones. This names those people who reach for their precious cell phones whenever one of those things rings in person. "I am sooooooooo important because I have my cell phone. That call must be for me".
* YOYO- It's an acronym for You're On Your Own that is commonly used in text messaging, but has now (sadly) slipped into everyday conversation.
* Nerdvan- Meaning the ultimate state of bliss when a computer geek. If you are on your computer for more than a few hours a day you are a Nervdan.
* Job spill- when work cuts into your personal time. But I have seen more Work spill (Ok, I made up this antonym for Job Spill) than Job spill at offices.
* Dixie Chicked- Remember when the Dixie Chicks called Bush the idiot and embarrassment he is? Well to be Dixie-Chicked means to be disparaged or shunned for voicing an unpopular or controversial opinion.
* Keyboard dyslexia- Typing all the correct letters, but in the wrong sequence. Hmmm By the way, I have been wondering why you do that to me.
* Up-Tilting- Every boss will try this if he can get away with it. It refers to the practice of giving impressive sounding titles to a worker, instead of the raises they deserve. For instance, a receptionist might be called "head of verbal telecommunications". Once given that title, you can be sure that the receptionist will be expected to run the company while keeping her receptionist based salary.
* Payroll orphan- If you are a payroll orphan it means you got fired.
*Wet signature- This is an original signature on paper in ink, not a faxed, photocopied or electronic one. I winder if these really do exist today?
* Bee break- sneaking off in the middle of dinner to check your E mail. Well, I hope you do bee break for my E mail once in awhile.
* IMglish- I saved the most preposterous one of all for last. You can probably tell by the spelling that this refers to the idiotic collection of symbols and acronyms that IMers use because they are too lazy or too stupid to write out the text, or because they want to encrypt the chat they are engaged in from a boss, parent , spouse or lover.
After reading about all of this I suppose you would like me to encrypt the whole mess from you? Sigh..I am afraid I am too 404 to do that.....