First Day Of School

Jane started 8th grade today. How different it is from the days when she was a primary school student. At 5'7" or more and size 10 shoe, Jane is not small physically or emotionally. She is becoming a young woman and acting like it. I call this phase of her development the "hands off" era. That is, she is in the begging of the teen years and, as a result, in search of independence and bonding with her friends. So the role of her mom and I is lessened now. I think we will now observe more rather than interact constantly.
It's interesting to me how all the kids in Jane's class are the same. They seem to feel that to find an identify as a grown-up they must first find one in the teen group. So the kids act, speak and dress alike. They have the same interests and same activities. I am not sure at what age they will begin to separate from the group, but have heard this phase is a long one. The 13 year olds divide themselves into two bonding groups- boys and girls. Though they do not interact much now, there is great interest and comment by each sex regarding the other. Haha I have heard "he's hot" a few time from some of Jane's friends when discussing a boy at school. Maybe by the end of this school year the bolder boys or girls will try to infiltrate the groups.
Another thing I notice about Jane and the other 13 year old friends is that they love the phone....and love to go into a bathroom or bedroom (door shut) to lock out anyone else from listening in. Hmmmmmmm I am pretty sure Jane has no prostate problems,. Hehe I think the time she spends in the bathroom on phone is because of the fact that it is secure in there. Sometimes Jane has her ipod headphones on when chatting on the phone or using the computer.. She is "plugged in" too much for my liking. But it is her choice so I can say nothing about it to her.
I think 13 year old girls find an ally in music, the bands about which I know nothing. She saw the band 'My Chemical Revolution' at a concert this summer. I have no idea what that band sings, but Jane is enamored with it, as are the other kids in her group. It's important for kids that age to attach themselves to something parents have no interest in because that helps them separate from the parents. This accounts for the preponderance of heavy metal bands they admire.
I am not sure if Jane and her friends are typical in all aspects This group is a very sheltered and innocent one. they attend a good school where parents are involved and expectations are high. Jane's mom and I often comment on how lucky we have been so far because all of Jane's friends are very nice and well behaved in and out of school. I know eventually there will be some problems, but this hands off era is a good one for me. I have so much less to do in parenting Jane, more time for myself. the days in which I was the focus for my daughter are over. She is now an independent and responsible girl. It is good to see she has turned out so well.