We Should Know That

I saw an article recently entitles 'Twenty-five Things Every Man Should Know How To Do'. It was one of those articles that advise women on picking "the right man". Hmmmmmm Well, I won't go through the list because you are a woman and probably could name many of them. They included things like being able to back a boat trailer into the water, filleting a fish, sharpen knives, change an auto tire....Ugh! It's the same sexist obligation we men get from women. You know, the "that's a man's job" routine. When women don't want to do something, particularly physical jobs, they claim men have a genetic link that allows them to do it for them. Little does the author of that list understand that when women insist their man possess these sexist roles it drives the good men away instead of making them suitable partners. Intelligent and sensitive men don't like being defined in such a limited way, and in fact, we want women to be able to do the 25 things on the stupid lists as well as we do them. So I am fighting back now with my one list. I call it the ' Eight Things Women Ought Should Be Able To Do For their Man'!!
1) Survive on five pairs of shoes or less- If we can wear two or three shoes are whole life (and wear them when they are dirty and falling apart at the seams) why can't women stop buying all those shoes and filling their closets with them? I mean, who needs purple shoes????????? Sigh..apparently women.
2) Be quiet during football games- This includes double headers and playoff games!!
3) Leave us home on those daily mall trips- You know you just want to use our credit cards. Take them and buy all you want, but let us stay at home to do those piggish male things you never want to watch anyway.
4) Stop asking, " If I die today, which of my girlfriends would you most like to be with"- Sigh.....Why do women ask such hypothetical questions? I think it is a clever trap to put us on the defense. Instead of naming the sexist girlfriend of hers, we men usually confound the woman with an answer like, "Well, actually I am hot for Fred." Hehe This may make them think we are gay and kill that subject forever.
5) Lay off the emotional crutch act- Is it necessary for we men to tell the woman every five minutes how "special they are" in order to reassure them that we love them. A woman should understand that if we belch in front of them, leave our dirty clothes on the floor and hog the remote control we are expressing our satisfaction with her.
6) Never ask, "What are you thinking"- Any woman who asks that and gets the real answer will be unhappy. Most of the time we are thinking of sex or something that drives you crazy, not deep feelings about the lady we love. We never give our true feelings when you as that one. Better to ask us the score of the game last night. There is no controversy there.
7) Stop dressing us- We are men, so we have an innate sloppiness built in. If you groom us, go through the drawers of the dresser to find something that "looks better on you" is just as awful as if we men were to tell you to dye your hair red or stop wearing a perfume or lipstick you like. 8) Crying- You cry too much. Why do women cry at movies (even when it's a comedy), when they break a nail, after a trip ot the beauty saloon that made their hair look "awful".....? You should save your tears for the real mess we bring to your lives, and we will bring plenty of that to cry about.
That's it, a man's list. Uh, I do hope you know I was just kidding about all of this. But then, maybe I could add a number nine to include your never being able to tell when we kid and when we are serious. Never mind. I should forget the whole thing.