Mr. Blackwell's Worst Dressed For 2006

Mr. Blackwell, the acid tongued designer has released one of the more amusing top ten lists. It's his 47th annual 'Worst Dressed List'. You are going to get it today in this E mail, including his somewhat catty (but funny) comments that go with each worst dressed winner.
But first, Blackwell also has a best dressed list for 2006. It's hardly quoted and hard to find given there is little funny about praising those self-absorbed Hollywood and other public figures. Just for the record, Mr. Blackwell says the following are "fabulous fashion independents" that desire praise and attention for their fine choice in clothes this past year.
1) Actresses- Kate Winslet, Angelina Jolie, Katie Holmes, Marcia Cross and Helen Mirren
2) Singers- Barbra Streisand and Beyonce
3) Politician- Speaker of the House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi of California
4) Princess- Charlotte of Monaco
5) Model- Heidi Klum
Given I may be the worst dressed and least fashion conscious person in the world I have no idea about the proper attire. But Mr. Blackwell is imperious and certain of what taste is. He is so sure that he uses tasteless (funny though) remarks when selected each of the 10 worst dressed "winners'. Counting from the bottom of the list to the winner, here's the Top Ten of 2006 along with Mr. Blackwell's reasons for the awards.
10) Meryl Streep- This is the same lady who started in a movie, The Devil Wears Prada, about fashion. But Mr. Blackwell says she needs fashion lessons. "From Streep you could weep. Her beauty of a career cannot be denied, but that beast of a wardrobe is pure mother of the bride." 9) Sandra Oh- Sandra may be cute, but she is the ninth worst dressed woman of the year. Mr., Blackwell says she wears too many beads and bangles. "She's layered lunacy from head to toe." 8) Tori Spelling- Another actress on the list at number four. She may be pregnant, but Mr. Blackwell says that's still no excuse for dressing so badly. "All chills and thrills', he said. "Tori's Down and out in Beverly Hills!", said Mr, Blackwell in reference to aTV show that made Tori famous. "She's definitely under fashion duress...positive proof that more is really less!"
7) Sharon Stone- He said Sharon resembles "an over the hill Cruella DeVille- after a seismic shift." I think Sharon's "basic instinct" after reading Mr. Blackwell's remarks may be to ring his neck with her scarf.
6) Paula Abdul- That nasty Mr. Blackwell described Paula as "wrapped in floral fiasco's that grow moldier by the hours. Mr. Blackwell says Paula is "A lumpy stem on a bumpy flower, a fallen fashion idol." Whatever Blackwell says...just please stop singing, Paula. You can wear whatever you want if you promise me that.
5) Mariah Carey- Ahhhh, Mariah is Mr. Jim's (that's me..I gave myself a title for today) worst female singer winner. But she is a nice lady despite my distaste for her singing. I would not want to be as crude as Mr. Blackwell was when describing her. He called Mariah "a fashion pariah" who has "finally found her stylistic niche...let's crown her the Queen of Catastrophic Kitsch."
4) Christina Aguilera- Mr. Blackwell loves her voice saying "La Diva Christina is a "dazzling singer" But, the enigmatic Christina needs fashion help. "She puts good taste through the wardrobe wringer! All crass and no class." Poor Christina is such a lost but talented soul. I imagine she will weep uncontrollably after hearing the news of her selection.
3) Lindsay Lohan- What can you expect but to find that number one spoiled brat on every worst list, if not for her behavior, her wardrobe. Mr. Blackwell says naughty Lindsay has gone from Disney "adorable to adult deplorable" She is "tragically trapped in fashion's fast lane.". Hehe But the good things is, Lindsay is so loaded on booze and drugs so much of the time she probably won't even know she made Mr. Blackwell's list.
2) Camilla Parker Bowles- It's bad enough that she is the only non actress on the list, and that she is the target of cruel barbs and rumors all year long in England, Camilla has caught the eye of prissy Mr. Blackwell and is in second place. Mr. Blackwell who calls Camilla 'The duchess of Dowdy' said, "In feathered hats that were once the rage, she resembles a petrified parakeet from the Jurassic Age..a royal wreck."
1) Britney Spears and Paris Hilton- It's a tie! (I am excited). First place goes to the two talent less but overexposed wonders who do more to prove the dumb blonde theology may be an accurate one. "Two peas in an over exposed pod," said Mr. Blackwell, who calls the two 'Screamgirls'. "Style-free- and fashion deprived."
That's it. I have no idea if Mr.Blackwell is right or wrong about the list he made because I pay little attention to Hollywood and know nothing about fashion. There is a worst dressed male list for 2006 too. but Mr. Blackwell concentrates most of his venom for the ladies. I am grateful to be too insignificant to ever appear in a Mr. Blackwell list...but then...it may be to the advantage of the celebrities to make it. It sure can't hurt the Paris Hilton's of the world to get more publicity.
Hmmmmmmm By the way! Just what kinds of clothes do you wear.? Should I call you 'Mariah' or 'Duchess' too???????