Pork Book Awards

One of my favorite satirical awards is out. It's the 2006 Congressional Pig, "pork barrel" awards given for the most wasteful spending of tax dollars by congress in a given year. A watchdog group called Citizens Against Government Waste monitors items added to laws by senators and representatives who want to "bring the pork home" to their voters so they will vote for them when they run for re election. According to the report they have issued for 2006 there were 9,963 wasteful, completely un necessary pork projects the American taxpayers will have to pay for, and the total cost ot them is 29 billion dollars! Here are some of my favorite pork projects passed by congress.
1) $50,000 for cotton ginning research- the cotton gin was an 18th century invention, a small metal clasp that removed seeds from cotton. It hasn't been used in over 200 years.
2) 1/2 million dollars for fruit and berry crop trials for rural villages and $75, 000 for "seafood waste research"
3) $6, 435, 000 for wood utilization research in Alaska- My God! Don't they already know the uses of wood?
4) $500,000 for Apple fire blight research- This is yet another installment on this research making the total wasted on it at over $4,000, 000 since 1998. I suspect the fire blight damage has not cause as much as 1% loss of the total spent on that research.
5) $245,000 to The National Wild turkey Federation- a group that supposedly monitors the movement wild turkeys. But why?
6) $591,017, 000 for eight more C-130J aircraft- The problem with that expenditure is that even the Department of Defense (which will receive them) doesn't want the planes and says they are defective.
7) $360, 296, 000 of utility repair and research in Alaska - the chairman of the Senate committee dealing with these kinds of projects, Ted Stevens is from Alaska. This will make the voters in Alaska love him.
8) $1,000, 000 for Waterfree Urinal Conservation- I don't even want to make a remark about urinals without water.
9) $500,000 for the Arnold Palmer Prostate Center- At that price Arnold's prostate should be everlasting.
10) $2,300,000 for the International Fertilizer Development- This one seeks to help foreign countries develop agriculture using environmentally friendly means. Why do I wonder if any other country funds this?
11) $78,631,000 for the 100 foot Island Class Boat- Those boats are used to patrol and enforce immigration and drug laws, but for the past 6 years they have been filled with problems and in constant need of expensive repair. The Coast Guard, which uses them, doesn't want them.
12) $150,000 for the Bulgarian-Macedonian National Education and Culture Center in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.- Huh?
13) $250,000 for the Daniel Webster Boy Scout Council of New Hampshire- Even dead Daniel Webster would be disgusted with this waste of tax money. Remember, that's just a few of the programs funded by the U.S. Congress. They seem to be giving money to everyone but me! Hmmm You think I could set up a "Organization For Ridiculous E mail", show them some of mine and get one of those grants? Things must be getting worse for females in India. The ladies there have been portrayed in a school textbook as inferior to asses (not human males, those other asses...donkeys). That's right. According to the Times of India, In the state of Rajasthan housewives are compared to donkeys, and the text suggests that asses make better companions because they complain less and are more loyal to their "masters" (I may be crazy but I am not commenting on that opinion!)
"A donkey is like a housewife, " the newspaper quoted the text that is used by 14 year olds in Rajasthan. "In fact, the donkey is a shade better, for while the housewife may sometimes complain or walk off to her parents' home, you'll never catch the donkey being disloyal to his master."
The book was approved by the state's Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata party government but has sparked comment form the ladies and some men there. I should take a position...hmmmmmmmm...Ok....I am outraged at this slight in comparing donkeys to women. It's an insult to the donkeys. Hehe..Nevermind...No, I am adamant in saying that women have many other great characteristics that donkeys don't have....like ...uh....Can I think it over and get back to you????????.
This fascina