Un Reality Shows

I have never understood what is called 'Reality TV', that fake, foible filled, fantasy, fun less, fruitless, faux, funereal, flatulent, fabricated filth....I am running out of f's so let me just say I give such TV shows a big fat F as their grade of this E mail. There's already enough on TV to annoy the human intellect, probably why I avoid any TV whenever I can.
I admit to never actually watching a Reality show, but the bombardment in the written and picture media shows me more than I want to know about it. Further, friends and acquaintances who watch and are bold enough to admit seeing those shows have related what goes on in them. After hearing, I wonder if reality TV (oh, and cell phones...I don't want to forget to castigate those too) is mark of the end of civilization. Perhaps the apocalypse began when the first of those mindless Reality TV shows entered our TV sets.
I prefer to call Reality TV programs Un Reality shows, for they never bear any resemblance to the real world. The first of such shows, something called "Survivor" is still being produced and watched by millions. That's the one where low IQ volunteers, who's single talent seems to be the desire to show their stupidity to a world-wide audience, pretend to be surviving on an island (the producers always seem to pick a romantic one).
The fact that I know this is amazing, given I have never seen that show. But the incessant bombardment in the media describing tells me much about it. I have read that those "survivors" are feed catered meals, "rest" in air conditioned trailers when fatigued, even have medical personnel on site to attend to everything from scrapes and bruises to illness. I doubt their condition is a survival mode. It might be truly interesting to a TV audience to really drop 10 or so of those people on an isolated island and leave them to fend for themselves for a month. I venture to say that when the TV crew returned we would see if there were any real survivors left. But then, that won't make for a season long series that the TV networks could sell. Nope, one real episode or a real survivor show does not equal a season long of pretend surviving.
Why is that moron Jim writing about my favorite kind of TV show? I know you are asking that, so .... It's because my newspaper reports on a new Reality show to soon debut, one that even the biggest Reality TV fan will have to admit is a bit incredulous. It's called "Armed and Famous".
In Armed and Famous, low grade celebrities (washed up celebs who can't find work anywhere else) will be given guns and trained to be...hold on to your mouse...trained to be real police officers who will work real sections of public streets. Need I say anymore than to tell you one of the first Armed and Famous participants picked for that series was La Toya Jackson. Well....maybe La Toya will use her gun to shoot brother Michael and bring us all a bit more peace. That would be are refreshing reality. But you can bet that it won't happen.
If you watch Armed and Famous you will see La Toya and other nondescript "stars" become police officers in Muncie, Indiana (population 70,000). I have no idea why Muncie went along with that embarrassing premise, but they have done so. La Toya and the others will go through the police academy and be sworn in as real police officers. They'll get badges and guns and then be assigned to a partner who is a real police officer in Muncie. They will patrol the streets. Call La Toya and the others celebricops if you want.
They will work the most active shift, from 6 p.m.. to 2.a.m. and respond just like regular cops to emergency calls, making arrests (La Toya should arrest Michael for messing with those boys), and helping victims of crimes.
Ok, I have to ask. Are you interested in that show? Or will my diatribe here now make you re examine all those silly reality shows? If you choose the former I will ask La Toya to place you under arrest for abusing your brain....