Politically Correct 2006

The English language seems now to be changing more than since the days of Shakespeare, when English evolved into what it is today. But now that it has become the language of the world due to its prominence in technology, international business, and entertainment, English is expanding as much as the universe. So with that preamble I present the GLM Language Police version of the Top Politically Correct Words for 2006.
Yep! Its time to mention the latest trendy words that "offended" people most during this past year. Here is the top ten list as selected by GLM.
1) Macaca- This one is an offensive racial slur that describes Indians from the West Indies islands and was uttered by U.S. Senator, George Allen during the reelection campaign he lost recently. Unfortunately for him modern communication technology catches every remark a Senator makes, and was probably the difference that decide Allen's defeat. I don't like prejudice or racial remarks but there is a word for the Allen's of the world that.....uh....I dare not say..because someone is always listening out there.
2) Global Warming Denier- This one is applied to people like me, who think the Global Warming hysteria is out of bounds due to a lack of scientific evidence our climate is actually permanently warming (as opposed to the normal warm/cool shifts it has always had). So when I deny that Global warming may be real, I, as a Global Warming denier am belittled, ridiculed, and treated like Paris Hilton at a Bible studies convention.
3) Herstory- This one may be the silliest of all. The use of herstory in place of history is supposed to inject more female influences into the field. The word "history" never applied to sex. It was coined by Herodotus when it meant any "inquiry". However, if you want to burn your bra in protest to my preferring the world history to herstory please do, I will enjoy watching the you walk without your bra.
4) Flip Chart- This is an old term that describes those teaching aids that people use when speaking to a group. They flip a page to show something , speak and flip again. But I am told that for some reason some Filipino men feel being called a "flip" is offensive. Don't ask me why. I do not know.
5) 1a and 1b- How's this for crazy? 1a and 1b has become universally unacceptable as a ranking method because the headmistress of a primary school in Scotland used it to divide an overcrowded class into two equal sized ones. Both classes were divided by alphabet, nit academic skill. But so many parents of 1b kids complained that their children were being labeled as "academically inferior" to the 1a group, that no school dares use the 1a or 1b classification anymore. I think those protesting Scottish parents are not only 1b, but also probably just plain stupid!
6) Politically Correct Colors- this one got started when a coffee shop in Glascow, Scotland (Those Scotts sure are politically correct...but I won't call them flips) refused to serve a customer who ordered a "black coffee". Yep! Those coffee brained servers said the term was "racist" and told the customer if he changed his order to "coffee without milk" (Hey! Isn't milk white. I find that racists toward whites) he would get the coffee. It's a good thing he didn't order a white Chocolate and dark chocolate croissant with his coffee with milk. Those idiots at the coffee shop would have probably shot him on the spot.
7) Oriental- Yep! Insults for black won't be tolerated, so Asians in America have decided the word 'Oriental" is offensive. Oriental literally translates to "those from the East". The American Asian says since he or she is from the west, Oriental is unacceptable. Are you confused yet by all this political correctness?
8) Menaissance- I want to throw up when I hear this one. It's supposed to be a cute play on the term "Renaissance". Some macho men came up with this word as a protest for last year's politically correct term "Metro sexual". Have you forgotten what a Metro sexual is? That's the sensitive male of this generation. But those mach guys say, enough! They are real men, tough and smelly. They want their male renaissance to label them as Menaissance men. I think Menaissance Men probably need to study more "herstory" to learn their proper place in life.
9) Momtini- This was invented by a mom in Michigan to oppose the "parental correctness" image of the soccer mom. A momtini doesn't wear sneakers and drive the kids to soccer. She gets together with a bunch of other Momtini's to have a glass of wine while their children play nearby. Uh, make that several glasses of wine. Momtini's also refer to drunken , bored moms who sip martinis all day and wish they were somewhere else.
10) "Our Mother and Father Who are in Heaven"- This is a rewriting of the famous prayer "Our Father" so that it is not a sexist or divisive prayer to women. Sigh....I ale ways suspected that Hell may be a more fun place. After hearing about this political correctness that I think I'll go there instead of Heaven when I die. Surely, all the inhabitants must be male. I'll fit in better there and will never have to hear such feminist drivel again.
There they are, all 10 for 2006. A warning! Because I am a Menaissance Man, if you use any of those in your E mails to me I shall call you a " Macaca Flip". Maybe you should say a "Our Father and Mother Who are in Heaven" to try to save my naughty soul..................