New Year's Resolutions

It's time for those infamous New Year's resolutions that everyone seems to want us to make. But I am again this year not resolving to do anything in the year ahead because I never make promises I know I won't keep. This is not to say that I am perfect and don't need to make lists of things to improve myself. I acknowledge I need big improvement (go ahead and make suggestions for me if you wish). So my alternative to personal resolutions is to make resolutions for others.
Hehe I love being the sage suggester this time of the year. It means I won't have to worry about personal responsibility and I can have fun taking shots at famous people we both know do need suggestions for improvement in 2007. So I hereby solemnly swear that...
* George Bush should go back to school and engage in intensive study, first and foremost remedial classes in use of the English language.
* All parent less African babies should run and hide while Madonna and Angelina are passing through their countries on their latest publicity tour.
* Every super rich celebrity who swears he or she is devoted to stopping "global warming" should give up their lear jets, Lexus and any other motorized transportation and start using public transportation or bicycling to venues.
* Oprah, Dr. Phil and the other idiotic advice show hosts on TV should swear not to inflict their simple minded viewers with shows like "I faked my bowel movements".
* That someone, anyone, who uses cell phones in public, should be polite while I am around just one time. It might make me speechless and cause me to shut up complete on the subject of those phones.
* Tom Cruise, Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan and Britney Spears should join Osama bin Laden in hiding...and stay there.
* Hollywood should make at least one realistic and intelligent film in 2007..oh...forget it..it's impossible.
* Muslim terrorists should discover belief in religion, any religion will do. It doesn't have to be Islam.
* That all media sources stop sanitizing criminals and again start calling those "undocumented workers" or "guest aliens" what they are- illegal immigrants
* That Reality TV show a shred of realism by being replaced with programs that make one think occasionally.
* That everyone who eats only "healthy food" should die 10 years before we unhealthy slobs do, and that preferably they die from eating their lousy tasting foods.
* No one this year will be sad because of working too hard, studying too hard or taking life too seriously.
* Global warming alarmists should all catch cold at least a few times this year. The irony of it all is too delicious.
* Gays be allowed to marry but Pamela Anderson be forbidden (she has run out of turns)
* All anti abortionists have children that are just like Michael Jackson. More irony....
* Politicians promise to take lie detector tests on a weekly basis.
* No one ether give or receive any more resolutions E mails.
On theses note of cynicism I wish you a happy and prosperous new year.