A Few Moments in The Mind Of A Woman

Why do men and women so confound each other? Just when we think we know what a member of the other sex is thinking we find out we were wrong. Well, I have been trying to read the minds of ladies lately and have come up with a consensus paradigm of what women think when they smile and look so angelic and adorable. Underneath that look is a confused being. Just the other day when in an office I looked at a woman and swear this must be what she was thinking........
"What's up with Cheryl? I mean...she has worn those same shows twice already this month. What a nerd. Doesn't she know that a woman needs a different pair of shoe every day? And that all she has to do is threaten to make her boyfriend go to the mall with her if he doesn't give her his credit card for shoe purchasing. Cheryl must be clue less. Or maybe she is gay and doesn't need....no I bet she has gay boyfriend.
Even a nerd like Cheryl must know the only good men available are the gay ones. Those piggish men! I should get me a gay guy too. We could paint our nails together, make muffins and scope out those cute gay ballet dancers at the theater. Who needs a straight guy when there's gay ones who respect women..never pee on the toilet seat and cry with us when we have problems.
Oh, there's the boss and I am supposed to be working. I'll just smile and pretend that I'm typing that report he's been asking for the past week. He'll never know I am on line chatting with my best friend. Even if he discovers how I waste time here at work, I'll juts have a fit and pretend it's the time of the month. Those male bosses can always be brought to their knees when we gals blame them for our irrational mood swings.
Maybe a PMS moment I throw at the boss will get him off my back and I can not only chat here but illegally download all those songs I want. Ugh..look at the way my boss dresses...so 90's style. I bet his wife buys his clothes. The poor guy isn't even permitted to have an ear ring or tattoo. Hmmmmmm Maybe he needs a gay guy too. He should dump his wife and find someone who is sensitive. Oh my God! There's Prentice Smyth! Just because he is the son of the owner of this crappie company he thinks he can hit on all the ladies at work. Prentice has probably been inside more panties than I have but he won't get inside mine. Well, if he gives me enough chocolate I'll consider it....."
Ok, so it really didn't happen that way. My "few moments inside the mind of a typical woman" may be an exaggeration. But we men believe that's the kind of things you ladies are thinking. Come on, admit it. There's probably more truth in it than imagination. Thank God women keep their thoughts to themselves!