Mother's Day Visit

On Mother's Day I had no mom to visit, so I visited the family crypts where most of my family and their ancestors are buried here in New Orleans. The visit was primarily because May 8th was the 9th anniversary of my father's death and also because Mother's Day reminds me to visit in remembrance of my late mother. My brother is also buried in the same crypt with room for myself if I chose it. Adjacent to them is my mother's sister and her family, and nearby are my father's family crypts and my mother's parent's crypts. So it was a sad visit for me.
This time I did not have my living family- which consists only of Jane- with me, so I had time to focus on the mausoleum and my thoughts while there. Just walking through the mausoleum is quite an eerie feeling. I saw many flowers placed before the crypts and some personal remembrances that were interesting and revealing.
One had a small American flag placed in the glass vase the mausoleum provides for mourners to place flowers. There were several prayer books and some personal remarks written on this Mother's Day by the loved ones. One thing that was particularly striking was a prayer card on which was written, "To Mother". Out of respect for the parties I did not look at the inside it but wanted to, but it was most intriguing, The son or daughter who left that card must dearly miss the parent (who, according to the inscription died a little more than one year ago). We all handle the loss of our loved ones is such a varied way. The way people deal with death is much like the capricious nature of human personality. it is never the same.
After spending time with my parents and brother's crypt I was paralyzed for a few minutes. I couldn't leave the grave site for it was the one opportunity, though surely a different way, for me to be with them again. I understood why people go to the graves of their loved ones. They do it for themselves, to commiserate with their thoughts and grief, to jog memories of their loved ones, to relieve guilt for behaviors toward their family they may regret but can never undo. There must be a thousand more explanations. In my case being there made me sad and realize how alone I am without a family support. I also thought about my own mortality, and wondered about the length of human life. Why for instance, do humans move to perfection in character and education as they age, but deteriorate so badly physically and are taken from their loved ones and denied a chance to live a "more perfect" life.
While I was leaving the mausoleum I spent a few more minutes looking at inscriptions, names, and dates during which the deceased lived. I found it both sad and fascination. It is ironic that a place of death is also a museum of life. One could write a book about the characters in a mausoleum just from what is on the facing of the crypts. And what was the most sad sight among those crypt's?
It was the tombs of the children- infants, pre teens, teens. All of them robbed of life and all of whom, because of their sudden and unfair deaths, must have had terribly injured parents. I thought about those parents who placed his or her child in a tomb. Is there anything worse than the death of a child? My Mother's Day was quite an emotional time this year. I do hope yours was a happier one.