Better Products

Yesterday I was thinking about products, not good products, but the ones that need improvement. If I had more ability to make my desires come true than to simple complain about faulty products, I would try to put out improved versions. It's because some of he products we have long used and rely on need improvement. The makers have gotten lazy and content with their inferior products. Need some examples?
Ok... The first one I thought about was toilet paper. Face it! Most toilet paper is not well suited to the job of butt wiping. It falls apart on contact or shortly thereafter, or is too thick and scrapes the butt like sandpaper. You know what is the worst thing about toilet paper? It's that it sticks to the butt sometimes without our knowing it.
Have you ever had apiece of toilet paper stick in the crack after wiping. You know...you finish your "business" and think the butt is clean. But alas! There is a piece of toilet paper stuck in the crack...ugh... nasty. Later on in the day you see a piece of toilet paper on the floor and you know it fell from your butt or someone else's. Who wants to pick that up? Not I. It's disgusting, so you and everyone else who sees the lost butt paper just pretend it doesn't exist. I'm telling you. If someone made a good toilet paper that was soft and didn't stick to the crack, he or she would be fabulously wealthy.
Are you still there or are you now wiping...never mind. How about those metal pull tabs that we all yank to open our coke or Pepsi cans? The problem with pull tab is that when people pull them they tend to throw them on the ground. Eventually a bird sees it and tries to eat it. Death occurs. Why not engineer a pull tab that doesn't come off the can completely? It would rest against the side of the can and birds would live, the environment would be pollution free and I would have one less subject to rant about. Sounds good, huh?
Another invention that doesn't work well is the auto alarm. Has a car alarm ever stopped anyone from stealing or breaking into a car? I doubt it. What it does is annoy people. Most car alarms go off through error, and many at 3 am when the world prefers to sleep. Those car alarm warnings that we put on the windshield don't work either. What thief will stop breaking into a car because you "warn" him or her that your stupid alarm is activated? The thief knows that if the alarm goes off no one will pay attention to it. We all think it went off by mistake. Better to disconnect car alarms and just leave a different message on the window. "Thief! If you steal my car, please do it quietly or next time I will install an annoying car alarm to harass you." It makes sense to me.
One more bad product to write about before I leave you in peace is the overly long and too big short pants that have become popular among some. They came mostly from rap singers and other brain challenged creatures who wear those pants to imitate prison attire.
Yep! Prisoners aren't allowed to have belts, so their pants fall down and look oversized. You know those idiots who wear their pants so low that we can see their underwear (be thankful my E mail is not visual or I would show you mine)? Those fools are imitating prisoners when they do that. I think we are supposed to think they are "bad:" or something. But I just think they are short of brains and a belt.
Instead of wearing pants like that, someone should try to counter the fad with the old style geek pants. You know, the pants that are worn too high. The waist becomes the middle of the stomach. Geeky looking, but at least I don't have to look at the fellow's underwear.
I know you are probably thinking that Jim has too much time on his hands, that it explains today's E mail. But these and many more product failures bug me. Be thankful I won't continue to add to the list here. If a society can be said to be judged by it's toilet paper, car alarms, drink tabs and pants, then we may be in big trouble. But then, perhaps I am just crazy and you should forget the whole thing.