Wrapping Gifts

I finished wrapping Jane's MANY presents. And it was a monumental chore. I have long thought that men were not suited for wrapping gifts (though most wives and girlfriends think the male is suited to paying for any gift given).
But why this wrapping disability among so many men? It may be that we are not exposed to gift wrapping until too late- as adults. At that point we ask or pay someone else to wrap the gift for us, or we just cram the thing into some sort of bag instead. No, no..I do think we males have a wrapping disability, perhaps a key to the truism infrequently uttered but understood by both sexes- that women are superior to men.
Show me how to wrap, teach me to wrap and it makes no difference in the finished product. My presents garner snickers, not because of the inside of the wrapping, but for the wrapping itself. I notice at malls the Christmas gift wrapping counters are always staffed by women, skillful ones. There must be a prohibition about hiring a man to be a gift wrapper. I have never seen one of those, and if there was one I am sure some would spread rumors that he must be gay.
And I might believe that before believing a REAL man could properly wrap a Christmas gift. Men should forget having their gifts wrapped at the mall. It's far too expensive, unlike the old days when stores wrapped your gifts as a"courtesy. And who wants to stand in line and be humiliated watching those pretty lady gift wrappers dazzle helpless male eyes into a shame that we should not have to bear at holiday time!
I don't even want to watch a woman wrap because it remind me I am her inferior. It's even worse watching a male wrap a Christmas gift. The sound of giggles...no robust laughter from the ladies watching is hard to take. Why do my seams of the presents I have wrapped always look disheveled, or the folded ends not have the same shape or size? Why do I use either too much or to little wrapping paper? Ugh!
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm On the other hand, why am I not smart enough to just give them all a gift card? I won't have to wrap that.
Another Scrooge has surfaced this year. This one is a Grand Rapids man named Bart Belkin. What did Mark do? Well, he is so cheap that Mark decide to not buy a Christmas tree this year. Instead, he drove to Gerald Ford International Airport where beautiful Christmas trees grow all year round in the landscape. Then mark grabbed an ax and proceeded to chop down a 6 foot pine for his living room Christmas show.
Police said they found out Mark was Scrooge this year (Mark admitted his nefarious deed in court) because he dropped his checkbook at the scene of the crime. They traced his address and when at marks' apartment saw the tree in a stand ready to be decorated. The tee has been confiscate and was donated to a needy family after Mark told the judge at his hearing that "It was a foolish thing to do. I wish I could take to back."
Hey! What a good idea. The judge should remember that remark when he sentences Mark. Maybe the judge should sentence Mark to "take back" those trees after all. He could make Mark ride the garbage truck and haul the trees from houses to it when it picks up discarded tress after Christmas.