God Shirt

I got a curious spam mail today. Well, I admit most spam is odd, and being a shade odd myself I like to receive it. There is amusement in reading about penile enlargers, breast enhancements, diet miracles, sex sites that promise free viewing, lost kids who need my money, E mail viruses that will infect my very soul and all the rest. But as raunchy as those may be, I think the type I got today is most unctuous.
It's the E mail religious appeal that seems even more out of sorts. The one that came today said I get a "Free religious T-Shirt". The E mail subject heading said "Praise God, wear a heavenly T-Shirt. Hmmmmmmmm I was not aware that T-Shirts were heavenly or that i could communicate with the heavens by wearing one. But this spam said it was so. I asked myself, "Am I Godless if I don't wear that shirt?"
Oh...I am borderline Godless anyway. I with draw the question. The T-Shirt is pictured in the ad. It has a message on the front that says "Where ever I go GOD is with me!" Is that so. If I went to a George Bush rally, would God be there? Oh, my, I hope not. And does God go to naughty places I if decide to go to one of those?
That shirt is confusing. Well, the ad said I had 48 hours to get my free shirt, that all I needed to do was to click on a blinking link to have it. Not that I wanted that shirt (I doubt God wants to be with me 24 hours a day , anyway...and I think God should be with others as well as me..let them have the shirt), but being of soft brain I was curious enough to click. I did, and was taken to a page that congratulated me (either for being religious enough or dumb enough to click) and presented a form to fill out to receive that God shirt. Of course I stopped at this point, not wanting to give personal information to an anonymous site. And if this is God's shirt, shouldn't he already know my info! That page called it a ChristianT-shirt.
Hmmmmmm What if I were Jewish, Muslim, Hindu or some other religion? I thought it a little offensive for "Christians" to have kidnapped God for themselves, and for making God print those shirts in their name. I left the site and forfeited my free God shirt. Yes, I know I need a God shirt on my worthless chest, but there was this other offer that came in my mailbox just after the God Shirt ad. It's something about sexy girls dying to meet me.... and ....I guess the God shirt wasn't as appealing as those ladies. I mean, that ad said they were "waiting just for Jim"....so I exited the God shirt and....oh, that is another story..Praise God (shirts)!
From the "Is this education" department comes word of student behavior that was not part of the regular suggested curriculum. In Carlisle, Kentucky a Nicholas High School student was suspended after he was accused of urinating in an ice machine that at least 30 people got ice from before the incident was reported.
According to police, the student was "dared" by another boy and took up the challenge by urinating into the machine that is located in a gymnasium lobby. And worse, other students witnessed the peeing episode but did not report it to the school principal until the following morning, meaning that the 30 students and teachers who got ice cubes from the machine that day got a not so flavorful surprise in their drinks. The health departments was contacted and said that urine is sterile because the body has its own filtering system to kill bacteria. Besides, they imparted, the ice's temperature would have killed any bacteria that survived. Needless to say, the 30 are not convinced. The unidentified perpetrator was arrested and suspended from school for 10 days.
No, his lawyers haven't yet figured out a "It was just a research project" defense. But it wouldn't surprise me if they try that. Hehe Aren't you glad that I am not serving drinks from my mailbox?