Average American

There is book out called 'Average American'. I point this out because of the nature of the book, it being so unusual. Like many novelty books this one focuses on one narrow topic, in this case the attempt to find the "Average American" man or woman and to see if he or she is really representative of the population here as a whole.
Well, it turns out that the average American isn't so easy to find. With 280 million people of such diverse backgrounds and interests it took the author, Kevin O'Keefe, about 2 years to compile statistics and develop the "average" criteria that would identify "Joe Average". According to O'Keefe the average American has many attributes, among the 144 chosen:
1) the average age- 36 years old
2) ability level- Hehe He can name all of the Three Stooges (comedians from the 50's)
3) eats cereal- average Joe not only puts milk in his or her cereal, but drinks the milk from the bowl when finished eating the cereal
4) believes- in God and has never doubted his existence and goes to church at least once each month
5) eats- 25 pounds of candy each year. No wonder we Americans are fat.
6) lost- 12 teeth by age 50
7) recycles- waste only sometimes
8) Goes to sleep- before midnight
9) Isn't a famous- but doesn't want to be
Ok, so who did author O'Keefe claim is the average American? He said it is Robert Burns, a maintenance man from Hartford, Connecticut. Burns is a stocky 5'8" 180 pounder who prefers smooth peanut butter over chunky, is married and has three children. Odd...I personally now no one who remotely fits that description, showing again that averages rarely tell the story of the masses.
From the "What's In A Name" department comes word that Germans value their names more than...well...anything else. According to a survey of 1000 Germans by insurance giant Allanz, Germans value letters attached to their name more than money, love or having children. Nine out of 10 said that being a Ph.D., a Doctor or holding some other title is their most important aim in life. Only 8 of 10 Germans declared that finding love was one of their leading priorities. Instead, perfect bliss was said to consist of a title that runs the length of the name.
So I should call myself DEM Jim. That's Doctor of Blog Jim...sigh...ok it should be DSEM Jim- Doctor of Stupid Blog Jim.