Wacky Warnings

I remember a movie Jane liked to watch (I think we still have the video of it) when she was smaller. It was called Mouse Hunt. Do you know that one? It's a comedy, for all ages at that, about a mouse that terrorizes a old mansion two bumbling idiots have just bought. they try every way possible to catch and kill that mouse and fail miserably enough to call in a professional mouse hunter. He also is humiliated and nearly killed by what seems to be a clever mouse who out strategizes the humans.
Well, art must imitate real life, because another mouse has won against his human tormentor. It happened in Fort Sumner, New Mexico. There the harassed mouse got the best of his opponent by becoming a rodent firebomb. The owner caught the mouse and tried to dispose of it in a pile of burning leaves outside the door. But as soon as the owner had tossed the mouse into the fire, aflame, he sprinted back into the house and promptly set it on fire. Poor Luciano Mares, 81, can only shake his head in bewilderment. He just wanted to get rid of the intruding mouse, but instead watched the mouse run into the house and set it on fire. Village Fire Chief Juan Chevez said the burning mouse ran to just beneath a window, and the flames from him spread throughout the house.
The entire home and contents were burned to the ground. Most odd indeed. I suggest you be kind to your computer mouse today. One never knows about those mice....
The ninth annual Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, 'Wacky Warning Label' contest has just announced the winners for 2005. And the 05 winner for the dumbest warning label goes to a heat gun and paint remover that produces temperatures of 1000 degrees and warns users, "Do not use this tool as a hair dryer". Haha I hope not.
Most of the winners warnings are merely disclaimers to protect against consumers suing for misuse of the product, as the quickness of people to sue here for the slightest inconvenience has created such ridiculous "warning labels". If you think that warning is a singularly un necessary one, look at some of the runner-ups in the contest.
1) Second place went to a product that calls itself the "sharpest knife in the drawer. The warning label says to "Never try to catch a falling knife".
2) Third place was a warning on a cocktail napkin. The napkin has a small map of the waterways around Hilton Head South Carolina that had this label printed, "Caution: Not to be used for navigation."
3) Honorable mention goes to the warning label on a bottle of dried bobcat urine made to keep rodents and other pests from garden plants. It says, "Not for human consumption".
4) And finally, another honorable mention for the wacky warning of the year is a "hot one". It is on a baking pan. the warning says the rather obvious, " Ovenware will get hot when used in oven."
Well, I guess that contest doesn't know about my own warning label to anyone who reads my mail. It's, "Caution: Reading My blog may lower the IQ substantially."