Putting On A New Face

Ever hear the expression to "Put on a happy face"? Well, you can do that now- literally. If one is so displeased with his or her looks they can now try a face transplant. That's because five men and seven women are now undergoing interviews for the right to have this radical new operation that's never been tried before (Ok, in the movies the gangsters have that operation).
Dr. Maria Siemionnow is in charge of selecting the chosen guinea pig for the face replacement operation. She will study their facial structure and interview them with questions like, "Are you afraid you will look like another person?" It's because this will be a surgery that is not reversible for whoever is selected for the operation.
Wow! What a potential identity crises. The purpose of the procedure is not to make normal faces pretty faces, but to give people who have been disfigured by burns, accidents or other tragedies a chance at a new life. This procedure has been tried and had success on animals and a number of human cadavers in an attempt to perfect the technique. But critics say the operation is "too risky" and not a matter of life and death like organ transplants. They point to the fact that if the transplant doesn't take, the patient might wind up worse off than before.
Here are the details of the gruesome operation as will be presented to the "lucky" one selected to undergo it.
1) Your face will be removed and replaced with one donated from a cadaver.
2) The face will match for tissue type, age, sex and skin color.
3) The surgery will last from 8 to 10 hours, with a hospital stay of from 10 to 14 days.
4) Complications could include infections that turn the new face black and require a second transplant or reconstruction with skin grafts.
5) Drugs to prevent rejection will be needed lifelong, and they may damage the kidneys or increase the risk of cancer.
6) After the operation the patient may feel remorse or depression, even guilt toward the donor. The media will probably discover the identity of the patient and if so, will hound him or her constantly.
7) The patient will look much the same as before disfigurement because the new skin goes on existing bone and muscle, which gives the face its shape.
So, given being horrible disfigured, would you elect to have that surgery if it were available? From the "Well, at least the spiders are gone" department is news that an embarrassed but unidentified Zuelpich, Germany woman burned down her home the other day as she tried to kill spiders in a garage with a can of hair spray and a cigarette lighter. Police say that when the aerosol can she used failed to finish off the spiders the woman tried to burn them with her lighter, causing the sprayed area to catch on fire and the blaze to spread.
Next, the woman tried to extinguish the fire with a garden hose. She didn't. Firefighters came to her rescue and ignited it, but the estimated damage to the home is well over $100,000. One cynical fireman said it best. " The family have had to look for somewhere else to stay, but the spiders are gone though. That problem was solved,"