They Want To Ban Choclate

They are going after my favorite unhealthy foods here in Portland. A politically correct Oregon legislator has submitted a bill for vote here that wants to ban candy bars and other sugary snacks from vending machines in public buildings. I thought the crazy New York law banning large soft drinks for sale in NYC was amusing, but now that the nuts here are after my junk food I should probably rant a little in opposition. So get yourself a candy bar while it's still legal to eat one and relax while I vent now.

I know that access to chocolate in state buildings isn't a sacred and inalienable right, on par with freedom of speech. But the little naughty things in life are what make life worth living. Too, I am not a child that needs mommy to regulate when I can eat a Milky Way Bar (the dark chocolate version preferred). This proposed bill would set strict nutritional requirements for these vending machines, banning most non diet sodas altogether and forbidding snacks that are not sufficiently low calorie, low sugar and low fat. No snacks with more than 200 calories, and no "entrees" with more than 450 calories would be allowed. That's half my diet!  (oops....the sugar inside me made me excitable)

Do we need a food police to tell us what we can eat? Surely not.  These days, virtually all of Oregon's public schools are switching to healthier school menus, pushed by federal nutrition rules, state standards and parent demand. These changes are worth supporting since children eat a lot of meals at school, and it is responsible for schools to support their healthy upbringing rather than undermine it with cheap junk food and sugar bomb soda. But adults are capable of deciding for themselves what they will eat. Hmmmm Today it is "No chocolate for you", and who knows is next the government might say.... "You're too fat so no spandex pants for you".  I might have to defect to a more reasonable place (Beware....if I move where you are I might take my spandex pants with me).

Banning non nutritious foods for growing children is not a bad policy. Kids need responsible guidance from adults. But treating a candy bar like a cancer causing pack of cigarettes goes too far. And deciding that public employees or adult users of public buildings need protection from their childlike impulses, so that they never accidentally spend  on chocolate? For a candy consuming pig like me that's the greatest human rights violation since the rape of Nanking.......