Planet Of The Apes

I always claim that the modern world has gone ape. Well, I think I have a little evidence of that to share today. It seems that word has leaked out that a set of photos taken by a  Russian chimpanzee sold at auction the other day for $76,680. They are, crude, blurry images the ape took at Moscow's Red Square that were sold at the most prestigious auction venue in the world, Sotheby's in London.  Yep! They handed an ape a camera and called him an artist after he randomly pushed the take button. (I can almost do that!)  And I thought it was all those Japanese tourists who had a camera fetish.

Uh, not to also insult anyone who is Russian, but where else could that happen but in the land of Alexander Putin? They were also bought by a Russian buyer whose lineage should probably be checked to verify that we humans are indeed descended from as well photographed by apes. Mikki is the name of the ape photographer, just in case you thought about hiring an ape event photographer. Just think how crazy Aunt Mildred would react to having her picture taken by an ape at your next family reunion.  It seems that Mikki was also a performer with the Moscow Circus,  and was trained to take pictures in the 1990s as part of a project to challenge concepts of artistic value. But alas! Mikki has passed away, leaving the ape photographer's union with a very short list of ape photographer candidates from which to choose.

As one can see from the pictures Mikki took, they look pretty much like what a 5 year old human might snap, but then scientists say that apes have a mental level equal to a very young toddler. So it makes sense. I doubt I would pay $76,680 for a toddler's pictures either.  Hmmm I wonder why the purchaser bought the photos at that price. But then, Michael Jackson treasured his dead ape skeletons and Justin Beiber carted a live ape around Germany for awhile, and they both had/have many ape like behavioral traits during their lives. It must be the descended from ape gene that explains it.

Maybe the next  edition of those dummy book series out should be, "How to Photograph Like a Monkey - For Dummies". The art curator at Sotheby's calls Mikki's photos well....art. "It's an alternative view of Moscow as seen through alternative vision," he said.  I must say that some of "modern art" produced by humans today looks about as sensible as the blurry images of an ape camera chimp. This all confirms my long held suspicion that the monetary value we assign to much of what we call art is not about the "art" itself, but is more about how we explain it to people who have money to spend to buy it. And perhaps next, Nikkon or Cannon will find the next ape photographer to endorse their cameras. I think I can wear an ape suit and take blurry pictures if they offer me a big enough camera endorsement contract.

Ah, the world seen though the eyes of a monkey. Together with those alleged elephant paintings that were so popular a few years ago we might be able to throw out human philosophy in explaining the world and instead make the world a little more apish than it already is. But is possible that we humans could behave any more ape-like than we already do when we use a cell phone?