From English To Spanlish

I'm having a harder time understanding English these days. I am not sure if it is my own fault, given my advancing age and unwillingness to pay even the slightest attention to what is new trendy or part of the popular culture. I know a language always changes, but isn't it supposed to be a slow and natural change?  When I hear some people speak or read what they write I have "duh" moments. New vocabulary, weird usage and context, slang and more confuse me.

There has always been a youth culture that is crime in changing vocabulary of a language, but now we have establishment types, particularly liberals who change language that doesn't fit their agenda. Also, business and technology have created a kind of language all its own. The mediums also produce rapid changes in language with their blending of technology with established communication mediums. All languages change, but the speed of the change varies greatly due to uniformity of political control. We seem to have little political control today. 

The English language today is changing faster today also because of those cell phones and because of social media. Both give people a chance to communicate away from the rest of society, to ignore the rules and vocabulary of it, and to create their own language on those platforms. I can't keep up with it because old people like me learn some of that new English, the language transforms more and leaves me more in the dark.  Twitter is a bizarre world for me.

Strangest of all is the new "picture" English, those emoticons defined by the smiley face, that so many have decided is better than the spoken or written word. How does one interpret a smiley face without the context of a sentence or the c voice to give contextual cues? Didn't cave men communicate with pictures like that?  Oh well, I supposed it's for the best.  I might retreat to a cave if this new English confounds me more in the future.