They Puzzle Me

There goes another one of them!  As I look at it go by, it appears this one is tired and unhappy but she keeps it up at a very fast pace. What makes people do that? They get hot and tired and look a mess, but they keep it up, day after day. Most of us are asleep when the most fanatical of them do it. So they must be strong willed and determined. I think they are nuts, because I am certainly not going to run down the street at 5 am every morning in the name of exercise. Yep, it's the puzzling jogger I refer to. What did you think I was writing about?

I both admire and distrust people who jog regularly in the name of improving or maintaining their health. Some of them seem weird. They wear trendy jogging outfits (the old gray sweat pants and shirt isn't good enough for the jogger anymore) and when passing by my fat and misshapen body almost sneer at how I mistreat my health and look so sloppy. But then, they have developed a power and grace by running every morning that one can also admire. Too, they are more self disciplined and determined than we non joggers. For me,  having only one jelly doughnut is self discipline. But the jogger takes great pride in telling you about his or her cholesterol numbers or how they are below the ideal weight level for their height. It seems to me that many joggers have too much pride in their pretty bodies.

Some joggers are obsessed with their running ritual. They even jog to work. Never get a work cubicle next to a jogger who arrives in his suit work clothes after a jog and who is absent a shower after the jog to work. They may not know they smell bad, or is it they don't care? The obsessed jogger even runs up and down the stairways during the lunch  time  work break while people like me prefer to merely stuff our faces with double cheeseburgers and french fries. You can bet that obsessed jogger brought his or her lunch to work. It's most likely just a bag of carrots, broccoli or, God forbid, one of those granola health energy bars.

The jogger usually likes to inflict pain on him or herself. The worst of that breed puts weights on their ankles or around their waist to show (show-off) their no pain, no gain logic. I hate to admit it, but when one of them overdoes it and puts so much stress on the body that a heart attack occurs, I have to try hard to control myself  to keep from smiling when I see them clutching their hearts. If I happen to have a donut in my hand I will make sure that I munch loudly and sigh in wonder that the jogger has yet to learn that "donuts are what life is about". There is great irony in a person who runs so much that it ruins his or her health.

Many of the joggers are also converts to jogging. They were lazy, out of shape bums like me until someone goaded them into jogging. Often the goad demon is a misguided doctor who scares the person into jogging with assurances that death will occur sooner if jogging shoes aren't used regularly. These jogger converts suddenly become jogging Nazi's who insist that you and I also jog. They are like former smokers who have quit and can't stop telling everyone they better quit too. I don't smoke and think it is a horrible habit, but when I see a jogger I almost want to start smoking....just to spite them.

My least favorite joggers are the ones who have things on or with them with which they jog. I think women tend to do that more often. Many female joggers jog with their dogs, wear headphones that play inspirational running music, and of course their cell phones are always in sight. How does a person chat on a phone while jogging? A jogger can tell you, but I can't. Joggers are addicted to their running. It's so sad to be that health conscious....