Friday, March 29, 2013

Worst Holidays To Celebrate

Now that St. Patrick's Day is over there I think that isn't any worthy holidays for me for the next seven months. That would be when Halloween arrives. But until then I will wonder where the holidays are and why all the good ones seem to fall between the end of October and Mid March. It just reminds me that all holidays are not treated equally. For example, who has fun at Ramadan? If you can name that person I don't want to meet him/her. They probably would call me an infidel.  Holidays should be above solemnity of that sort and should include a great deal of silliness.

I was thinking about the holidays that I find too dull to celebrate and have a list for you. It's, well, enough to celebrate. Here are my five worst holidays of the year.

* New Year's Eve- This one is beyond understanding. It's a holiday about nothing (an artificial "changing of the calendar" to an new year) in which people get drunk, kill others while driving in that condition and in which a fat guy dresses in a diaper with a banner announcing the new year. Never do so many people try so hard to have fun. Holidays should never be about trying to have fun. Rather, they should be intrinsically fun.

* Valentine's Day- As a card carrying male I have to hate this one. Women get gifts, flowers, candy, a free meal in a nice restaurant, falsely sincere admonitions of why they are loved....and they believe that the largess is from the heart ( but it's really from social pressure, ladies). What do we men get on Valentine's Day? First there is a lighter pocket book after paying for all that stuff. And then it is a lotttttttttttttttt of pressure to actually be sincere about our love for our lady rather than just being the male pig we are and faking it.

*Good Friday- This is the Catholic celebration of a famous murder,. It commemorates the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Isn't that bit weird? First, why is it "good friday" if Christ was murdered that day? He sure had a bad day. And what are we supposed to do to celebrate on Good Friday? Or perhaps, it is a holiday to honor mass murderers. I think it unnecessary to have a day for that event. Hannibal Lecture already gets way too much attention from Hollywood.

* Black Friday- This one was created by retailers and is celebrated the day after Thanksgiving. We are supposed to spend our money buying gifts to give at Christmas that are "on sale". From my view, shopping is not a celebration. And the fact is that those sales are not really sales of note. You can buy the same junk even cheaper just a few days before Christmas. Don't those shoppers know they are being tricked into buying. That the U.S. has a holiday for spending money recklessly seems to sum up why we are a materialistic people.

* Groundhog Day- Groundhog Day is celebrated in the U.S. each year on February 2nd. On this day in mid-winter, the groundhog awakens from a long winter's nap, and goes outside of his den to see if he sees his shadow. If he does see the shadow that is supposed to mean there will be a full 6 weeks more of winter. Hmmm How do they get all the groundhogs to agree on the shadow thing? This tradition is big on an otherwise cold and dreary mid-winter's day when there isn't much to do anyway. But why are elevating groundhogs?  There is even an official Santa groundhog of sort named Punxsutawney Phil who has even more power than does a Kardashian girl!

Feel free to debunk my reasoning on any or all of the five. You can prove me wrong or just celebrate each a little more to spite me. And may all our future holidays be better than those five

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