Friday, March 29, 2013

Malls

I rarely go to shopping malls, mostly because I like neither shopping nor the crowds that flock to malls. But malls are a fascinating phenomenon. The first shopping mall , an American invention, was the Country Club Plaza in Kansas City Missouri. It opened in 1922. Nothing good ever seems to happen in Missouri, and I include the shopping mall as another of the no good contributions to that odd American state. In 1956 the Southdall mall opened in Minneapolis, Minnesota (where the world's biggest mall, The Mall of America, is today). It was the first enclosed mall. Then in the 1980's the mega malls that are everywhere in the world now first appeared.

And so it began and now endures. There are malls everywhere today, regardless of the income level of the place in which the mall is found. Most have the same stores, type of stores and much the same merchandise. They are all decidedly western institutions. Go to a mall in China and then one in New Jersey. I bet you could not tell which is in China and which in the United States. If there ever was a prototype retail site it is the mall. They all have movie theaters, food courts, and endless supplies of teenagers walking about mischievously leering at others and carrying ice cream cones or those awful pretzels that the malls sell.

We still have single fixed site stores available as an alternative to malls that I use, but the current generation disdains them. I wonder if malls are like cancer cells in that they keep growing in size and numbers. They encourage some rather strange behavior by the shoppers who patronize them and are even thought of a social meeting places for the young. One thing I notice when at malls is that women seem to dress better than normal when shopping there. But the men are the same fat slobs who wear thong shoes and have beer bellies bulging out of their t shirts. Why do the ladies look so much nicer? I think if you entered a church and observed ho the parishioners are dressed you would find that the ladies who shop at the mall are better dressed than the ones kneeling in the church pews. I wonder why women get dressed up to shop for dressy clothes? There must be some deep psychological explanation for that.

Another thing I notice at the mall is that many of the males shopping there are uncomfortable with the whole mall concept. They would rather be outside. Some are along for the trip because their lady demands their presence, and a few misguided males are there to actually buy clothes. But most want to get in and out as fast as possible. Men do not like "browsing", nor do they want to own 50 pairs of shoes. I find that the teenage boys more often parked in the food court, since we all know teenage boys eat like whales. The older men who are with their wives can often be seen sitting on those dirty but welcoming mall sofa and chairs alone and waiting for the wife or gf to emerge from a store. There is a look on the faces of those men that scream to be rescued and taken home, but there is also a resignation that their lady has only begun to browse/buy for the junk she doesn't need and will probably eventually return for exchange after buying.

There is also allot of opinion pooling at the malls. Though those women who stop mall shoppers to ask opinions are the least bothersome of them. Just say "no thanks" and walk away. But the opinion tester most men hate is that of the ladies that dragged them to the mall in the first place. "Does this dress make me look fat"? Do you like the style of this dress"? "It's on sale...maybe I should buy it"? The smart man will abstain from comment on any of those kinds of questions and just hand over his credit card to his lady. There is no winning for a male in a shopping mall.

Why are there so many "sales" at malls? Some of those sale signs look dusty and dated. I suspect the stores have sales on some of there items every day of the year. The presence of sale signs, even when the shoppers themselves know they are a ruse to induce more buying, is a feature that is designed to help the buyer relieve any guilt he or she may have for purchasing things not needed.
 
I suppose that an iconic institution like the shopping mall is better left alone than to be analyzed, like the other great mysteries of the universe. But I am perplexed about the popularity of malls. However, if any mall finds out about my antisocial views of their existence maybe they will ban me from shopping at their stores. And that would be a good thing!

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