Carl's Jr.

Here in Portland, I have discovered that the great desire in food is volume rather than taste. Full service restaurants serve mediocre food but the number and variety of fast food places here is enormous. When you feed them allot of food in Oregon and they are both fat and happy, something I have observed to be both cases since coming here. There are many super heavyweights here, perhaps even more of them than in New Orleans, and New Orleans has much better tasting food than what one can consume in Portland.

The favorite sign here seems to be that of fast food eateries or the omnipresent buffet restaurant that carries on the tradition everywhere of serving copious amounts of bland food at inexpensive prices. Turning one's head to glance at any of the many buffet places in Portland will surely enable you to spy a 150 plus kilo human waddling in or out of it.

I did try one of the better reviewed buffets here and can only say that it was so non memorable that I do not ever plan to return. But I also have eaten at a few fast food restaurants near my home in Portland, One of them is called 'Carls Jr.s, a west coast hamburger based fast food franchise. It is an eye opener.

When I entered Carl's that day I perused the menu on the wall behind the order counter to find something simple and light. Since it features hamburgers I spotted a listing of what is the cheapest "value meal", the "Big Car combo. "Two charbroiled beef patties, our classic sauce, two slices of American cheese, and lettuce all on a toasted sesame seed bun", says the advertisement for it. Hmmmmmmm I was in a curious and playful mood.

Here was my dialogue with the waitress who placed my order.
Jim "What is in the "special sauce"

Waitress 1- "I don't know" (Looking to her right at an associate at another register she asked him) "

Jim-"Do you know what the special sauce is"?

Waiter 2- "I don't know".

Of course this was an opportunity for mischief and I took it Jim- (with a feigned look of exasperation and slight crazed stare I loudly bellowed) "How can your sauce be special if you don't even know what is in it?"

At that point a much older and more knowledgeable supervisor came to the order site to calm the crazy (me).

Supervisor- "They are new here. They don't know. The special sauce is Thousand Island Dressing", she blurted to me.

Jim- "That's it! Plain Thousand Island"

Supervisor- "Yes"

Jim - "How can that be special? Why not call it what it is..Thousand Island Dressing?"

Supervisor- (turning and going back to her duties)- "I never asked and don't know"

Jim- (speaking now again to the cute and now amused little girl taking my order) "You need to study your menu ingredient sheets. Until you do, I am not about to ask you what's in the hamburger. I'm afraid you might know."

Waitress 1- "You want the special sauce"?

Jim- "No thanks. I'll wait before ordering that for it to earn it's reputation as special. But I have another question for you."

Waitress 1- (eyes rolling in her head) "Sure"

Jim- "I might like the special sauces at Carl Sr's better. Where is Carl Sr."? (There is in fact, and I knew, no such thing as a 'Carl Sr's')

Waitress 1- (looking like a deer in headlights) "I never thought of that!"Jim- "Thank God your healthy minded enough not to have...."

Supervisor- (Seeing her young employee in distress) "What is it now, Sir"Jim- " Sad to say, more questions...I just want to know here I can find Carl Sr"?

Supervisor- "You'll have to ask corporate offices."

Jim- "No, they probably kidnapped him and are holding him ransom until they really find out what is really in the special sauce."

At that point another customer was in line so I stopped torturing the waitress and waited at my table for my Big Carl. It came and it was huge! The Carl Jr nutritional information said it is 935 calories. With the large number of french fries (the best tasting item of what I ordered) and drink provided that meal was enough to satisfy the entire day's calorie ratio.

As to the taste of it, it was greasy and unsettling after eating half of it. More of the volume beats taste mentality found here. I couldn't finish the entire burger because the grease content put a stop to it. Looking around the restaurant I saw people eating much bigger orders, smiling and waddling away in a fast food feeding frenzy( Hey! That's nice alliteration).

Oh, if you ever see Carl Sr., tell him I want to know what's in his special sauce.