Aging

Recently I saw a clip from the 80's of the famous singer Tony Bennett. Tony looked awful in the eighties, much worse than he does today, and he is about 80 years old or so now. It got me to thinking about the way in which people age. I have concluded we age similarly, but at different paces. Does that make sense? But more simply, it means that while we all eventually get "old" and deteriorate, some people show it quickly and some slowly. Some people seem to look better at an older age than when younger (as in the case of the Tony Bennett example). That's a form of the old "he ages well" maxim. Only in Tony's case, he almost seems to suspend the aging process, reverse it, and look younger than previously.

Why is it the girl who looked awful at 22 might look gorgeous at 32? It might be a weight change, maybe some genetic change that kicked in later, a change in hairdo or clothing. I suppose there are many reasons. It's hard to say what makes a person look old because looking old is more than showing wrinkles (some wrinkles are desirable and even called "good character lines"). It's a general body appearance and personality attitude that defines whether or not we are an old woman or young one, and old man or young stud.

Most people also say that men age better than women. That is, they look older later than do women. I think that is purely expectation and bias at work. I doubt there is any scientific evidence that one sex ages faster than another. But we do have perceptions that women are older looking first. It's probably because we idealize beauty in women and because we more quickly notice any mar to a woman's beauty. Men can be considered handsome even if they have pot bellies.

Another thing about aging is that we sometimes idealize an age for a famous person. We always see them as that age. Historical figures are seen that way. Think about it. If I asked for example, "what does Hitler look like"? Everyone sees Hitler as the Nazi image we have seen in war photos. We define him as always being that age and could never imagine him as older or younger. Again our perception (or preconception ) has kept him one age for all time. It's the same with other famous people. Think of the great actor Shawn Connery. He will always be seen by most people as the fit and young James Bond, not the fat and bald old man he is today.
When you look at an old high school yearbook, the principle of aging well comes to you immediately. Just look at your own photo and you'll probably say you looked awful then, but much better when you were 30 years old.

Most of your classmates pictured would fall in the same category. But at some point in your aging process, your 17 year old photo begins to look better than your current image. The way in which we age is tricky to see. If you look at yourself in the mirror today and then one week from now there is no visible difference in appearance. But look today and 5 years later there is noticeable change. This illustrates the principal that aging is slow torture for most of us.

One thing about aging I don't personally understand is why people (mostly women) dye their hair or use wrinkle creams, plastic surgery or other tricks to keep a youthful appearance. It never works. If you dye your hair at age 50, you'll just look like an older person with dyed hair, not a younger one. Everyone knows what the trick is. You can't alter the aging of the mind and soul, even if you can change a few physical features.

I hope my remarks haven't made you feel older today. If so, just take the mirrors out of your house, and enjoy your life at whatever age you wish yourself to be.