December Babies Are Special

Wow! I just read in the Internet (ergo, it must be true) that because I was a December baby I am special. It said that December babies are the special ones and even stated that "science" says so. Hmmm Science also has given us some sketchy theories, the Global Warming one is probably the best example. Nonetheless, I am hereby certifying myself as special, and will cite the reasons the article says so, in case you have doubts. You probably have some doubts, and I am not sure what they mean by "special". Special can be either good or bad.

Don't ask me for any sources for this declaration of December specialty. I have none. The Internet is supposed to be a source onto itself as long as you believe whatever is being shoveled there. Since I am special the December birthday theory is one I like. If the article said December birthday people were serial killers or Hillary Clinton supporters I would deny the whole theory. Anyway, the first reason I am special because of my December birth is because December births are more rare and December births on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day are the rarest of all. Rare equals special in this case.

Secondly, December babies (and hence, December grownups) are supposed to be less irritable. Heaven knows I never get irritated and rant here. That itself is proof of number two.  But a study presented at the European College of Neuropsychopharmacology asked 366 university students about their temperaments. The findings were that those born in summer tended to be moody. But the winter born, were steady. In particular,  throughout their life spans December born people were found to have far fewer temper tantrums. If you don't believe this I will slap you!
 
Another reason I am....err...December babies are special is that they have a much lower incidence of major diseases than you horrible non Decembers! (a small tantrum I confess, but my tantrum does not nullify reason two above). Researchers at the Columbia University Department of Medicine looked at records for 1.75 million patients born between 1900 and 2000 who were treated at the medical center. They looked at 1,668 diseases and birth months and other factors, such as exercise and diet and found we superior December babies are not sickly like you!

Reason five is bad news for you who read my clap trap. Babies born the last month of the year are more likely to live the longest o all. The Journal of Aging Research said a German study found that December born have a “significantly higher risk of surviving up to age 105 plus compared to the June born.” Just think how lucky you are. I could be ranting here until I am 105 years old.

Finally, the mystery article saying I am better than you because I am a December baby (I am expanding the horizon of the article's message) says that December babies start school earlier and they achieve more in it because of it (luckily my school reports cards are not available for a verification of that idea). The idea is that because the December baby is usually the youngest one in the class in schools in the U.S. , that the December baby is more motivated to try harder to make up for the age difference between itself and the older kids.

There you have it! I suspect you will try to refute this idea of December specialty, maybe remind me that mass murderer Richard Speck, crazy Roman Emperor Nero, and Joseph Stalin were all also December babies. But I have consulted Nostradamus, another December baby, and his predictions claim those three had phony/invalid birth certificates. It's great to be special!