We Need More Commandments

The world has become way more complicated than in the days of thee and thy. I don't know about you, but sometimes I am confused about what is the right and wrong thing to do when acting. It's the era of moral relativism, one in which whatever we do is ok if we can make an excuse for behaving badly or unwisely based on our own perspective. I think the old Ten Commandments are not enough of a moral guide anymore because we have so many more temptations to resist today.

So I say, lets add on the the, 'Thou shalt not kill' and 'Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife' (Hmm Most men would have to confess guilty on that from time to time. God should let us covet as long as we don't touch) list of the Ten Commandments. We need modern commandments to make all those other people (you and I excluded, since we are the only true ethical people) behave and stop annoying us.  How about these additional commandments, Moses?

* 11th- Thou shalt not watch Reality TV... unless you have a certified IQ score less than 50.
* 12th- Thou shalt not participate in a pro or anti abortion, gay rights or global warming march...unless you march all the way into the sea.....stay there.
* 13th- Thou shalt not annoy others with your cell phones....well,  I guess this is the commandment no one will obey. Never mind!
* 14th- Thou shalt nor call rappers "rap artists"..... "Untalented thugs" or "Hate mongers" are titles that will assist you in your journey to heaven.
* 15th- Thou shalt not lecture anyone who is eating a donut about the values of organic/vegan foods.....because an eternal donut diet awaits you in heaven....... if you are wise enough to renounce your healthy diet and make it to donut world (heaven)
* 16th- Thou shalt never be politically correct....or yee shall be sent to politically correct purgatory after death
* 17th-  Thou shalt never use "lol", "brb" or other inane computer abbreviations in any written correspondence with another individual who is not classified as brain dead.
* 18th- Thou shalt never pay attention to celebrity opinions on politics, social justice or "saving the planet"..... for those who disobey, heaven has a video that constantly plays those morons whining their views.
* 19th- Thou shalt never utter, "Islam is a peaceful religion" when decapitating or abusing a non Muslim.....Muslims who wish to enter heaven must leave on earth all knives, swords, artillery and weapons of mass destruction.....the Islamics you leave on earth will appreciate your earthly weapon contribution.
* 20th- Thou shalt never read heathen garbage....uh, except what I wrote here.