Travel Resolutions

Trip Adviser had some questions for readers about their travel resolutions this coming year, things like: Will you 1) Go somewhere I've never been 2) explore your own region better 3) take up a new activity 4) spend less, but keep traveling 5) spend more and live large and so on...Those may be noble travel resolution questions, but not realistic and specific ones. They, uh, only touch the edge of the traveler's concerns. So today I will give you a few you might better identify with and which might make your own travel focus more specific.

I hereby resolve in 2010 to.....

1) not to sit next to that fat, smelly guy with bad breath who always seems to choose the seat next to mine
2) to get a hotel room without those mysterious stains on the carpet.
3) to not to ask what the stains are
4) after passing though airport screening, resist the temptation to say to the security agent, "Are you SURE there isn't a bomb in my luggage"
5) not paying over $10 for a bottle of water at any of those kiosks in the airport
6) finding the right airport shuttle gate, riding the right train and making it to my gate on time
7) to say to the obnoxious self absorbed, pretentious cell addict who is screaming into his or her phone, "Could you spell the name of your bank. I know I have your account number already."
8) not to enter any tour bus where the passengers are singing the "Viva Viagra" song
9) when an annoying seat mate won't stop questioning me, chant "Allah Akbar" and take out Islamic funeral prayer beads
10) when in the aircraft give those crying children a real reason to cry
11) find a place somewhere in the overhead bins for my one small carry-on....oh wait...it is an impossible resolution....never mind
12) never to go on a cruise, visit Singapore or it in an American fast food restaurant.
13) when asking the stewardess for a coke, not remarking when served it, "This isn't the kind of coke I usually use on a lousy flight like this".

Thirteen is an appropriate number of resolutions for me. Happy Traveling in 2010!