2010 New Year Resolutions

Happy 2010! This is when we are supposed to make those crazy resolutions that are intended to modify our behavior deviations. Humans have guilt complex that drives them to do such things. It's the "I shouldn't do this anymore, so I will avow that I won't do any more bad things in order to lessen my guilt about what I will do" complex. "Hey! I tried to stop it." But actually, most people look forward to a new year as away to continue old habits. Resolutions are most often a charade.

But then the new year can cause amazing changes. 'The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to." P.J. O'Rourke I think O'Rourke is on to something. Mark Twain was even more realistic about resolution futility. "Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever."And finally, my favorite cynic, Oscar Wilde, once wrote that, "Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account."

So on that note, I won't make any resolutions for me. But I, uh, do have a few for some of the more famous among us. I (said party below) hereby resolve in 2009 to:

* John and Kate Gosselin- to go away and never darken the gossip pages again.
* Meryl Streep- to at least NOT appear in one new movie Hollywood makes in 2010
* "Tweeters"- to tweet in silence this year with no more of the " I just tweeted update announcements"
* Barack Obama- FINALLY run out of debt limits and stop spending money to buy voter's support.* Sarah Palin- to go away..as soon as possible.
* Tiger Woods- Keep swinging..but only on the golf course.
* Reality TV- disappear for something more realistic.
* Cell Phone Providers- shut up! Your commercial advertisements are more ubiquitous and annoying than are the idiot callers who use your services.
* Daily Newspapers- pretend to be what you once were, a provider of information readers should know, not a gossip source
* Illegal Immigrants. No, you are not "undocumented workers". You are invaders who bleed the society you invade. Stay home this year.
* Mainstream Culture- forget rap music, Lady Gaga, and the all the other teen sub cultural icons. Return to the adult world.
* Me- Display tact once in a while. (OOPs! This resolution has already killed my resolution)

Happy New Year....May all your problems in 2010 last as long as your resolutions................