2016 Banished Words

Its official  now. The 2016 "List of Words Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-Use, Over-Use or General Uselessness", or words that are annoying enough to banish, is out. That's right. Lake Superior State University in Michigan has released its annual list of words and phrases that it says should be banished this year. I think most of us will cheer many of the selections. Few things are as annoying to people theses days as the way communication technology creates a virus effect on the language.  When something is misused, it is now misused many more times than before the pe communication tech revolution.

I suspect reality TV stars and other functional illiterates didn't make many suggestions to Lake Superior for 2016. But the list itself is from nominations people all over made to the school's site for banished words. If you wish you can make a suggestion now for the 2017 edition.  "So", "problematic", "walk it back", "conversation", "secret sauce", "vape" and "break the internet", are there ones on this year's list I most applaud. If I ever use any of those here, shoot me and put me out of my intellectual misery.

Lake Superior doesn't just ban the obviously overused, badly used or annoying. It gives a reason for each. SO, here they are. (Don't shoot me for the "so", it was intentional to show why it should be banned.) . The word "so" as often used today serves no purpose in a sentence. Currently, it is being overused as the first word in the answer to any question or before one makes any statement.  For instance, "How did you learn to play the piano?" Answer: "So, my dad was in a classical music club and I..."

As for problematic, it's a fancy way (too fancy) for saying "problem".  I guess "it's a problem" is too direct to say today. To impress others we use "problematic" for anything that the speaker finds inconvenient or undesirable, such as an opposing political belief or bad traffic.  We don't say "it's a problem" because it's really not a problem. to exaggerate, substituting "problematic" is a way of making things that are not a problem seem to be one. I suppose it is a subtle way for us to exaggerate.  Actual problems like a death in the family are equated with imaginary "problematic" ones like whether seats at a concert we wish to attend is sold out before we have bought our ticket.

"Walk it back,’ means to retract the statement, or explain it in detail to the extent that the statement no longer has any validity or meaning once it has been walked back. It's a way a politicians, for example, can take back a miss statement or lie without appearing to be a liar or imbecile. "I take it back" is too much an admission of fault for some. Instead, they "walk it back" and  appear to make lying less of a transgression with that substitution.

SO, (Oops! I did it again.) that takes us to the banned word "conversation", It seems everyone wants to have a "conversation" about something. We used to merely ask to talk about it, but liberals in particular now use "have a conversation" about an issue they believe in as a code phrase that you must sit and listen to their belief and accept whatever it is they hold to be true. Having a "conversation" with a liberal, for example, about global warming, is admitting that they are right that humans who heat their homes with fossil fuels will destroy the planet in the next 30 days. When someone tells you that he or she needs to "have a conversation" with you  about something try to run away as fast as you can. You can annoy them before running by saying, "SO, I have to go now" as you bolt to escape them.

Blame Mc Donald's corporation for "secret sauce" having to be banned. Formerly, "secret sauce" was used in a sentence to describe that gooey mess that is served with Mc Donald's artificial chicken nuggets. But mow it is said to explain the "secret" of something.  Businesses now release public statements about their newest products as being the "secret sauce" for their success and the consumers satisfaction.  As punishment, those who release publicity statements about the latest company "secret sauce" product should be forced to eat a double order of Mc Donald's chicken nuggets with that gooey secret sauce on top.

"Vape" has been used recently as a new noun, referring to those nicotine cigarettes that are supposed to be a substitute to the weapons of death so many have been smoking for so long. First humans were killed by cancer from cigarettes. Now they die from overuse of the trendy word "vape". Here's clarity on "vape". If you smoke non nicotine cigarettes you admit a vapor instead of smoke. There is no need to call it "vaping". It's just as vulgar and harmful as those cigarettes you used to inhale. Just call it smoking, since you also puff and die from that kind of smoking.

The final entry on the 2016 list I most applaud is "break the internet".  It refers to any post or video that has so much Internet traffic that it appears to some idiots that it will "break the internet". I imagine a Kardashian saying, "I'm gonna break the internet with my latest breast photo." "Break the internet" is now being used for every headline and video on the internet. But as far as I can tell, the internet was broken long ago. No need to break it again.

SO..... just shoot me now and put me put of my misery.