Reading A Newspaper

I am one of a dying generation. That would be those who still read a daily newspaper, and read it in its entirety. Every day I read my local paper, ritualistically starting my morning with a walk outside to gather my newspaper from the ground in front of my house. On the rare occasion it is not there for me to scoop and read I am a fritter and lost.  How can I be assured the world exists if my morning newspaper is not there to report on what happened in it while I slept?

That I am a creature of habit is easy for most to see. I even have a habitual routine for reading a newspaper.  Every day, without any variation, I sort my paper by department and follow this procedure (you may take notes in case you want to be an old fossil who reads a newspaper cover to cover each day). I always first read the a few few pages of the front section. These pages of the serious stuff are enough at that early hour, so after shaking my head with dismay on the condition of the world,  I then go to my favorite newspaper section, what I call the toy section. The toy section is the sports section. I find solace in the sports section because it is all simple,  real and non threatening. One team wins and another loses, and there is no dispute about the result. Final scores are good things in this age of uncertainty, political correctness and chaos. All sports page controversies are trivial and a reminder to me that the world used to be just that simple. What a shame it is not anymore.

After reading the sports section I depart for breakfast  and later whatever duties I need to attend until I return sometime in the day to finish reading the rest of my daily newspaper. When once again ensconced in front of the newspaper I always first read the rest of the front section. That way I can get the reading of the serious news out of the way so I can go on to the more enjoyable parts.  And that next section is the editorial or opinion section.

I love reading the letters in the editorial pages that other subscribers write to the newspaper, for the content seems more common sense and on target that the actual regular editorials and opinion columns that the newspaper prints. Most of those formal columns are just expositions of agenda. One who reads a daily newspaper column regularly can predict what a regular opinion writer will say before reading it. The writers are often zealots to a liberal or conservative point of view and never waver from that stance. Still, I feel obligated to read their propaganda so I can identity the extreme view when it is presented elsewhere outside of a newspaper by other zealots.

Next I read the obituary column. Since childhood I have had a fascination with it and feel compelled to read about the death of strangers, strangers who's life stories are condensed into a short  newspaper obituary notice. I find the death notice to be the melancholy section of a newspaper, and I even grieve for people now deceased...."Too young to die"....."He/she was quite an energetic and successful person"..." Another cancer victim"....." That one had a kind face". The obituary column gives me a perspective and appreciation for what we all claim are the important things in life. Maybe when we read the obituaries it helps remind us to focus more on those things.

The next section I read is the business section.  I have never believed that the business of life is business, so I read that one quickly, fixing on any article about a business that I patronize or know. It makes me feel as if I am an insider into what the business is really doing. From the business section I quickly move through the living or entertainment section. This is the fluff of a newspaper, and though there is little newsworthy in it, a newspaper would not sell many copies if such a section would be omitted. It represents the triviality of life that has overtaken most humans now, the TV listings, astrology charts, celebrity gossip, society news,  feature articles about people or places etc.  I doubt that there is a section of a newspaper that is least important but more widely read than the living/entertainment section.

Finally, I complete my reading of my morning newspaper by browsing the cartoon section, which also has a weather page that I scrutinize even more closely.  The cartoon section is always filled with more cartoon panels than one would have the patience to sift through, so like most others, I gravitate to the same 5 or 6 cartoons I read each day. It's good to end my newspaper reading with a few laughs, for every newspaper quickly shows us that the world is better laughed at than to be taken seriously.