National Pancake Day

 
March 3rd was a sacred day of the likes of me. No, it's not the date of some religious holiday. It was National Pancake Day in the United states. I think we started that one by stealing the idea from International Pancake Day, held in February but long ignored here until the, IHOP, world's largest pancake house chain invented it for pancake lovers in the U.S. That restaurant (there are almost 2000 of them) gives away a free stack of pancakes to anyone who can find the room in the besieged restaurant on the morning of March 3rd. So National Pancake ay exists only because of IHOP marketing. Still, I like it better than Valentine's Day. What male wouldn't.

I eat pancakes often, perhaps once a week and I love any kind of pancake made as long as they are the flour based style we eat most often in the U.S.  Those egg based crepes are not appealing to me, even when stuffed with goodies because the touch, egg texture is not my style. I like a cake texture pancake. There are probably more than 1000 kinds of pancakes to eat. Choosing a pancake is like dating online. You sometimes see something attractive but are repulsed when raking a bite. There is more to a pancake than how it looks.

I want the plain American style pancake, tender and flour laden with the only topping applied to be generous amounts of silky butter. No nuts, potatoes, whipped cream, syrup, veggie or fruit fillings, no  ice cream on top will do.  I think you can tell quite a bit about people by the kind of pancakes they eat or don't eat. So in the spirit of National Pancake Day I shall now play psychologist and give you my personality rankings based on the noble pancake.

1) The crepe eater- Those who like crepes instead of flour based pancakes are too snooty for me. They more often wear Gucci clothes and drive expensive sports cars. The crepe eater is unappreciative of the basic form of a regular pancake. He or she should never be trusted!

2) The savory pancake- People who prefer these are trendy types. They do crazy things like asking for Quinoa in their pancakes. I think they really don't like pancakes at all. So they load them with veggies and "healthy' additives.  Savory pancake eaters are the ones who always seem to forget their wallets when dining out. You'll get stuck paying their check if you even eat breakfast with them.

3) The buckwheat pancake eater-  These people are traditionalists of the first order. They are very conservative and likely eat many plain and simple foods besides the buckwheat pancake. Though delicious to eat, fewer and fewer people eat buckwheat pancakes, most of the buckwheat fans coming from Eastern Europe....particularly from the old Soviet Union. That's why the easiest way to find a communist is to go to a restaurant that serves buckwheat pancakes. When trying to spot them, just look for Alexander Putin look-alikes.

4) The Asian pancake- What is that? I think it is something disguised as a pancake because it is never eaten by itself. Asian style pancakes are imitation pancakes. I am not sure what's inside them, but they do serve their purpose. That is, they are used solely to place other foods inside and have virtually no taste themselves. They are similar to the tortilla, the least important part of the dish. People who prefer Asian pancakes are quiet and isolated from others., just as the Asian pancake is isolated from what is inside it and is used only as funnel to get that other stuff inside the mouth.

5) The German/Austrian pancake-  Beware of those delights, oven baked puffs of tenderness with sautéed or baked fruit toppings. They are too seductive and will invade your stomach with happiness and then conquer it. People who prefer these pancakes are aggressive, invade your space (or country) and frequently click their heels and salute. One must be way when eating with a German/Austrian pancake lover.

6) American style pancakes-  Those pancakes are perfect because the eaters of them are also perfect (like me). No need to write anymore.

Enjoy your pancakes today and choose wisely which to eat....