Monkey Mall

Frequently I refer to the mass hordes of frenzied Christmas shoppers as "ape like". Well, in the case of on Christmas shopping excursion I was right! A monkey was found wearing a faux shearling coat and diaper in the Ikea store in Toronto the other day. I wonder how many those shoppers even noticed. After all, it was a big sale at the mall that day. The unnamed monkey only made it into the front entrance of the story yesterday afternoon. By then he was spotted by a few customers who took pictures with their annoying cell phone cameras before security grabbed the monkey shopper to ensure his safety from the real the eat- those crazy human mall shoppers.

Of course all of this was duly noted on twitter tweets, proving that even apes have no privacy in this world of electronic mania. Animal Services were called to take charge of the monkey, and eventually the owner (who must be an ape himself for bringing a diapered money to a shopping excursion) came forward to explain that the monkey had escaped out of its crate in his car that was parked in the mall parking lot and that it had wandered into the store on it's own. Once inside, reports were that the monkey shopper was more afraid of the weird human shoppers than they were of him. I can relate to that monkey's feeling. Ever been in the women's shoe department when shoes are selling at a 50% discount!

Given that it is illegal in Toronto to keep a monkey as a pet, Toronto animal services will keep the monkey until it can be found a proper home. Ok, I am sort of wasting your time reporting this stupidity, but I thought it a good example of how humans become obsessed with a non story simply because the technology they possess makes it entertaining. There were more tweets and news stories disseminated about the money shopper that day than about the world's grave economic crisis or any other single news event. In fact, the money shopper tweet now has his own Twitter page now (Yes, some jokester has taken on the monkey's identity as his or her own). The Monkey Twitter account already has 1,500 followers. Haha I hope no one checks on the mental health of those 1500 followers.

But one tweet from the account said it all about the attention span and seriousness of people today, "The only time Toronto makes international news is when our mayor falls over or someone finds a well dressed monkey." So....uh...if you see any well dressed monkeys in the mall let us all know. It's so important.