Sunday, December 16, 2012

At Christmas Time We Reflect......Sort Of

The Christmas season is the time when we tend to think about things we don't usually examine in much depth during the rest of the year. Why we even make "new year resolutions" after Christmas in response to all the ugly things about our lives we have examined during the Christmas holidays. Of course we rarely keep those resolutions and tend to forget all the subjects we examined at Christmas, just as soon as the season is over. I guess that makes all the reflection we undergo at Christmas more a moment of madness than a self realization.

But it's hard to avoid the maudlin sentimentality and "joy" we feel at Christmas time. Even Christmas music can shift from the happy, feel good jingles to the sad laments people experience during the holidays. And the nostalgia aspect of Christmas, a huge part of the holiday, is filled with our memories of our childhood or a past Christmas day that we fruitlessly try to duplicate or top each year but never do. Is there any other time of the year when we more miss lost love ones than at Christmas time? That's why Christmas can also make us fell frustrated. How ironic that a holiday that makes us feel so good also makes us feel like the bottom of a shoe.

This must explain the attitudes of the Christmas haters out there. I try to avid them but they seem more passionate about their hate for than I am about my love for the holiday. They don't want any part of Christmas because they experience too much that makes them uncomfortable at Christmas time. Perhaps their nature makes them not capable of the largely artificial (but healthy) joy we pretend to have at Christmas time. I feel sorry they can't pretend like we can.

Yes, Christmas is a mixed bag, but a bag we mostly long for because the pain it can bring isn't quite as bad as the joy of the holiday. It's one of the few times when we can honestly examine ourselves and evaluate our lives as they relate to those around us. And most of us do. But given our human condition and tendency of humans to not want to face their demons and frustration every day of their lives, the reflection, examination and change we want that are born from Christmas is mostly thrown out the window as soon as the holiday season is over because we realize it's not possible to spread good tidings ever day of the year.

Can you ever remember a serious holiday resolution you kept for an entire year? Uh, maybe even for an entire month? Probably not! But that's ok. Being human just engaging in the process of reflection seems to be enough for us. The "I tried to change and do better but could not" is a mantra we all feel comfortable with because, well, maybe it isn't normal for a person to change so easily and to be so good.

Maybe the ideals of Christmas are not to be striven for every day. Perhaps we love Christmas because it just makes us feel a little more connected to the past, present and future.... but only at Christmas time. It lets us put our toe in the water and not the whole body. Otherwise we might just ruin that Christmas stocking we wear. May you have a (somewhat) reflective Christmas holiday this year.

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