Gifting

What's going on with gift giving in this materialistic age of ours? Christmas now seems more like looting and pillaging than giving and receiving. Getting gifts at holiday time is no longer about the special delightful something from one to another. Rather, it's more that people have gotten mercenary about the whole idea of the Christmas gift. Those who receive the gifts are now are an increasingly difficult crowd to please, as they are picky and demanding in what they "get" They are treating even loved ones like catalogs or department stores, shoving lengthy wish lists in the face of the givers, demanding gift cards or saying "give me cash".

I am guilty of giving those gift cards. They are an easy gift and never seem to disappoint. But it sure would be nicer if people today would appreciate less material objects and cash, and instead something "given from the heart". I suppose I am an anachronism, from a time when a small box of hand made, home decorated, Christmas cookies was the best gift one could get because it took time and effort by the giver to make it. Make something for me, anything personal, and I will treasure that gift above all the more material ones. The cost of the object given should be irrelevant. But this was the custom of the era in which I was raised. Christmas was not about accumulating loot, but rather being nice to each other and saying or showing that "I appreciate or love you".

In a recent Harvard Business School, published in March in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, five experiments demonstrated that people accrued more pleasure and were more appreciative of a gift if it was something they themselves had requested. (The "I want, me, me" mentality of a toddler) What's more, the study's subjects rated givers as more thoughtful if they gave from a wish list. So, if the receiver asks for something and you give them something else, you are a loser for doing it. Sigh.

The study also showed that the givers wrongly imagined that their gifts would be equally appreciative of gifts that hadn't been asked for. They were also mistaken in believing a gift of cash would be less welcome. It looks like we now have have greedy receivers and clue less givers. Ho Ho Ho. This view of entitlement (I am entitled to get whatever gift I want) is a microcosm of the age of entitlement in which we live. You know, the one where the individual wants and expects the government or someone else to take care of all his or her needs.

The material objects, personified by the "I must have latest gadget of the month to be trendy" mentality, have become more and more important because there is just so much more choice than previously. It's greed. People today are more greedy because they have sold out to technology and material showiness. It's why Christmas has become a materialistic orgy unlike any other time before. The traditional practice of gift giving is supposed to be about noticing a person's interests and thinking about what they might like to buy, something that you believe will please them. 'It's the thought that counts' is no longer valid with many people? Now that thought is considered to be only for suckers. Now it's, "Let me tell you what I want," or better yet, "Give me the money and I'll get it myself."

Besides the greed for particular expensive gifts, gift lists have also expanded greatly. It used to be that in ancient times, that people gifted up to the person with a higher social status. Now you have to gift down to everyone, the garbage man who picks up your trash, the hair dresser, the postman... everyone you deal with. It's all because today the mantra today is "Show me the gift, the gift I want".
Uh, no gift is required after reading this...