Have A Kinky Easter

I must say that I am not a big fan of Easter, not since I got too big to hunt for baskets of Easter candy. But if someone wants to hide chocolate candy for me I could become religious again at Easter, at least until the candy runs out. Truth is, although raised as a Catholic and respectful to all the rituals and events of Catholicism, even as a kid I felt Easter was a little creepy. Maybe 'kinky" is a better word.

This Easter on "Good Friday", Pope Benedict XVI washed the feet of 12 priests during a Holy Thursday Last Supper Mass, something kinky that popes do every Easter Holy Week ritual that leads to Easter Sunday. It's supposed to represent humility toward other humans, but a five minute ritual isn't really convincing enough for me. Let the Pope wash feet every day and I'll get the point of it. Charlie Sheen is humble in his movies, but not off screen. I want to see the Pope wash when the cameras are off.
Want another example of kinky element about Easter?

Every Good Friday a group of Filipinos march through villages while being beaten with sticks and ropes (in a re-enactment of Jesus Christ's suffering as he was led to the crucifixion). Whips and ropes and being tied to across like Jesus was....oh my... Now that is a S&M session any kinkster would love to play out. Not to blame the Philippines though, this ritual is also re enacted every Easter in other places too. But the Filipino kink sets the standard for holiday kink.

Is it not odd to role play such a bloody event? Most of the participants who undergo that kinky ritual say they do so to atone for sins, pray for the sick or a better life and give thanks for what they believe were God-given miracles. It shows the power of religion over the poor. When one has no material possessions/comforts, he or she can be convinced that public flogging and being nailed to across is some how the way to reach happiness. A few years ago, inpsired by the Filipino ritual, a Japanese man sought to be crucified as part of a porn film in 1996 after learning of the kinky Catholic ritual, so I guess Catholicism is inspiring.....err...in a kinky kind of way.

The official Catholic Church policy is to disapprove of the crucifixion enactments, but the Church never has tried to enforce the idea with excommunication. It just sits and, I guess, enjoys the show while waveign a finger and declaring that those naughty filipinos should not do it. Those big event Easter kink shows inspire many Easter celebrants to engage in their own more private Easter kink traditions. How about the toddler Easter egg hunt, as an example. In that one baffled pre 5year old kids are gathered by the hundreds and sent into a ring where cheap candy is dumped. Someone blows a whistle and mom and dad push the little ones into the ring where they are beaten and stomped upon by kids of all faiths (I notice the other religions become one day Christian when their kids can get free candy).

To make matters worse, after the crying toddlers emerge from the arena, mom and dad grab what little candy they have happened to find and declare, "Only one piece for you, candy is bad for your health". I think those kids would have better mental and physical health if not thrown into the gladiator area of the Easter egg hunt. Oh well, to make the toddler egg hunt even more kinky, mom and dad usually eat the candy in front of the traumatized toddlers, all the while lecturing on global warming and unhealthy snacks.

So remember at Easter it is time to take your little ones to that 2 hour mass, dress him in as uncomfortable a cute suit as you can find, have him kneel on hard prayer kneel racks, make him recite prayers he doesn't understand, and if he is naughty....just tell him you will make him wait in the altar boy room with some kinky, drooling, child loving priests.

I do think Easter is the kinky holiday we celebrate, but it's also probably why it hasn't caught on as much as some of our other holidays. We all like a little kink in private once in awhile, but religion can sometimes take the kink way over the top.