Peculiar Christmas Traditions

If you ask most people what is the most peculiar Christmas tradition they know, they''ll probably give you a soliloquy of Uncle Fred's Sweater with the picture of a big fat naked Santa, or Aunt Midlred's inedible cranberry surprise dessert that mom forced you to eat and smile afterward as you uttered "It Tastes as fresh as snow". (Mom said no gifts unless you gave a unique compliment every year. I think we do personalize weird Christmas because most of us have weird relatives in the family that show up at Christmas time. Hmmmmm I wonder if you and I are the weird ones in their eyes? Never mind....

I thought about this today on a broader scheme, as in what are the world's peculiar Christmas traditions? Not being an expert on weird (despite my seemingly obvious behavioral qualifications) I decided to research the subject and found that, yes, there is a lot of weirdness at Christmas in many different places on earth. So to make your holiday bright ( as the song says) here are some peculiar Christmas traditions to inspect and perhaps implement yourself this year.

*Kiviak- this one comes from a weird place, Greenland. Any place that calls itself Greenland but is in a constant state of freezing temperatures deserves to be first on the list. Kiviak is a bird that is wrapped in seal skin and buried under a rock in the frost several months before Christmas. The Christmas tradition is to dig up the kiviak, squeeze out the rotted guts, and then eat the auk. No, I'm not kidding. I would love to feed Kiviak to Aunt Mildred as revenge for the cranberry surprise.

* Kallikantzaroi- This one comes from Greece. A Kallikantzaroi (I bet you can't say that while you drink your egg nog!) are evil spirits that live deep inside the earth most of the year, but wreak havoc on Greek homes over the Christmas holiday. Sound kind of like a reality TV show cast don't they? But aside from that, the Greeks hang a pig jaw inside the chimney to keep them from coming down it.. I guess the pigs of Greece are the real victims of Kallikantzaroi.

* Church skating- they do this in Venezuela at Christmas....not skating inside the church as the priest says mass or skating to get away from church as I do if called to attend. In this peculiar traditions. The streets in Caracas are closed off in order to allow churchgoers to get there by roller-skate. I assume at the mass prayers are said for the injured and maimed skaters who didn't make it to the church.

* Lose a shoe, gain a man- If you're a woman you can do this simple Christmas Eve tradition from the Czech Republic. Just go outside in the daytime, stand with your back to your door, and toss one of your shoes over your shoulder. If it lands with the toe facing the door, it means you'll get married within the year. Rumor has it Angelina Jolie adapted this tradition to adopting babies. For Jolie, the shoe has fallen for adoption quite a few times. Anyway, trading your shoe for a man seems a losing proposition to me. In most cases a shoe is infinitely better than the man inside it.

* El Caganer. This is a Catalonian tradition that translates to mean “the great defecator”. Yep, it's a statue of a little man pooing, pants down and all, that is supposed to be a monk or peasant. He is placed a little bit away from the rest of the figures in your nativity scene and when you see El Caganer and his load underneath his naked butt it allegedly means the year will yield a good harvest for the region's farmers. I bet Lindsay Lohan has done a few El Caganer imitations both in season and out.

* Guess Who's Coming to dinner- This one is Portuguese, It says that on Christmas Day you set extra places at your dinner table for the souls of the dead. Offer them food and they will bring you luck throughout the year. This free meal concept has been taken to new heights here by Barack Obama. If you drop by the White House for Christmas dinner (and you promise to vote for him and donate campaign contributions) I am sure you'll get a free meal and and get many more unfunded entitlements this Christmas. No rush though. Barack has been and will pass out freebies all year long.

Not that's' really peculiar...