Most Annoying Christmas Tunes

First let me say that I love almost all of the Christmas music I hear from Thanksgiving day until New Year's day. It's played in stores, at malls, on the radio. on Tv and I even have quite a few Christmas tunes in a folder on my computer that I play during the Christmas season. But some Christmas music can be annoyingly bad. What is the most annoying Christmas song of all time? Haha The Bulgarians may have given us the answer this week.

A Bulgarian web site (in fact, those Bulgarians are really crazy about English language Christmas tunes) did a poll for the most annoying Christmas song and 28,110 voters gave the answer It is the 1984 'Wham' tune "Last Christmas". I hate that one too! I think more because it is played on Christmas music radio stations incessantly, but it does become irritating quickly. Doesn't every song that is played too much become a hated one? That old British pop group edged out Mariah Carey's for the top spot on this year's poll by www.nohohoho.org. Mariah's "All I want For Christmas' is so annoying dogs howl when Mariah does the usual falsetto cry about the missing one she needs for Christmas.

I think the Bulgarians and I are alike minded because Marah's tune is number two on my list. But then anything she sings is an audio version of chalk scraping a school blackboard...Ugh! Why can't she sing something without the crying falsetto? I have been thinking about the Christmas music that I find most annoying. here is my list, and the order could change rapidly depending on whether I am subjected to hearing any of them any time soon.

1) 'The Little Drummer Boy'- (It doesn't matter who sings it), because I will hate it most of all. If a choir sings this, I am out the door before the little brat rump pa pus or whatever they are prattle about.. If I see that drumming twit I'll shove those drum sticks where it won't be merry! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1NYT768yls&feature=related

2) 'All I Want For Christmas'- (by Mariah Carey) I have the feeling that even if we give Mariah what she wants for Christmas, she will not shut up.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXQViqx6GMY&feature=related

3) 'Ave Maria' (by any of those fat male opera singers). No opera singer should be allowed to sing any Christmas song. It's equivalent to me wearing spandex. The fit will never be right. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPvAQxZsgpQ

4) 'The Christmas Song'- (by the Chipmunks) What could be more endearing than a bunch of cartoon rodents wailing a Christmas song? I can think of a million other things. The Chipmonks, with "Alvin' were huge when they began in the late 50's, but though their creator has died they keep in chipping that stupid song. After hearing that one I begin to agree with Scrooge. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dnrosVyamY

5) 'Macarena Christmas'- (by Los del Rio) The original Macarena song was bad enough. But 'A Macarena Christmas' song is worse than getting coal in your stockings this Christmas. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNgw549Vy0U

6) 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer'- (by 'Elmo')- I think grandma was murdered. but I also think someone should strangle the Elmo guy for giving us this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuTHxMjVivg

7) 'Do They Know It's Christmas'- (by 'Band Aid') Remember the 1989 Band Aid "feed the children" campaign. This was the theme song. I think the kids were probably suffering from an upset stomach and could not after heard this schmaltz. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rnaDOGmQO0

8) 'I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus'- (originally by Jimmy Boyd but the worst rendition is by Michael Jackson). Another of the 50's novelty songs (the 50's were a bountiful era for new Christmas music, both good and bad) in which an obnoxious kid sings badly after seeing Santa smooching with mom..sort of tune displaying infantile voyeurism, holiday adultery and lifelong trauma. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TSbNJEeoVA

9) 'Jingle Bells'- (by the barking Dogs). Even though I used to like the Jingle Bells tune, the Barking Dogs have now ruined it for me. Every time I hear it I wonder if those barking dogs had their mouths on my Christmas cookies. Dogs (and Mariah Carey) should bark, not sing Christmas songs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xam01uaj6Vg

10) 'Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto" (by James Brown). The greatest soul singer of all, James Brown, tells Santa to go straight to the ghetto with those presents. What? In that red suit? They would mug him 10 seconds after he got there. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryKRcVqsph8

There we have my worst ten. I dare you to listen to them all and still be able to hold down your eggnog.