No More Mullets

Did you see the news out of Iran about hair bans? Yes, those crazy Iranians are banning certain hairstyles on the grounds that they are not traditional enough. Here is the statement of the ban from one of those many "ministry" department officials that totalitarian states love so much. "In designing these hair styles, we have not tried to go backward. On the contrary, we have tried to make our designs a mixture of our traditions and Iranian culture, as well as the latest fashions and by doing so confront the cultural assault by the West (on our country)."

I am still trying to figure out that statement. Funny things is the "assault" of western fashion that the dictators there want to end is on 50 and 60 style hairdos that men have adopted recently. It could be that they are now fighting against a western cultural that was disappeared in the west 50 years ago. Among the banned styles are the mullet, the pompadour and the ponytail. All three are popular with younger Iranian men, and the government thinks it is just to heretical to allow. So large poster displays of what hair styles are permitted have been seen throughout the Iranian cities. I guess it's better that the Iranians worry about hair than about building nuclear weapons. Uh..maybe not. Those mullet hair styles are killers too.

Doesn't the Iranian dictatorship realize how ridiculous the bans are to the western world they so much love to hate (but try to copy from)? But then religious dictatorships are often blind to all but their own agendas. Maybe we in the west should all sport mullet hairstyles and send in photos of them to all Iranian media sources. Mullet warfare sure beats nuclear war. The cultures outside of Iran sure seem to get underneath the Iranian dictator's skin. A full fledged cultural assault on Iran might bring them to their knees. We could besiege them with copies of reality TV shows, news reports on Lindsay Lohan meltdowns, those obscene and child-like rap music lyrics, and even some of the Obama " hope and change" speeches that have sent many of us into cardiac arrest.

Hmmmm On further reflection, as much as I hate totalitarian states, any that ban the mullet and pompadour might not be so bad after all. I should move to Iran (after first cutting my mullet).