Age Stereotypes

The older we get the more we notice age. Or perhaps it is "the older we get, the more deeply we are aware of age differences rather thant sterotypes", since even the youngest of children comment on age all the time (though without truly understanding what it is, given experiences gained through time can only teach that). When younger a perosn sees age in a compartmentalized realm and rarely takes it out of that arena, so that the "old woman" across the highway must be feeble in mind and body while the teenager near her has to be more alert and healthier than the old woman. But life does not give us age in such a way. We age differently and for many reasons.

What seems to be the same about aging is our perceptions about people at a certain age (see Shakespeare's poem the 'Seven Ages Of Man' for details). Since I am "slightly older" now I notice some perceptions about my age that I don't like. My whitish beard provokes stereotypes about me that somehow my thoughts and views are "older" than when I was in college or some other younger period in my life. Theses perceptions mostly are not true, yet widely believed. I see the world as I saw it when 18, not in the way that many assume it should be seen when we are older. Sadly maybe people who age faster do so partly because they believe those false perceptions and start to imitate them.

More than being mean to older people, younger ones tend to be patronizing. This can be as annoying to the over 40 crowd as is just openly treating them as old and useless. ("Never trust anyone over 30", we used to say as kids) For example, ask any teen if a 32 year old woman is old and the teen can give you a hundred reasons why he or she thinks so. They won't respect her opinion or life experiences either because she isn't dressed like them , speaking their slang or listening to their music. Perhaps they take this stance in order to separate themselves from other age groups, given a specific age identity for teens seems mandatory for maintaining peace of mind. Thus, they brand other ages with cruel thoughts and behaviors toward them.

But even other "old folks" have perceptions about aging too, even about their aged contemporaries. For example, the healthy, active 65 year old is probably more patronizing than all others to the 65 year old who has aged far more quickly and has physical and mental "old age" problems. They tell their more aged contemporary "You look great!" when meeting them. But what they mean is, "For a broken down old timer you are at least not completely feeble...but I sure am glad I am not like you."

When they say, "Are you still living in a house by yourself"? This means , "I hope your kids have sold your home and put you in nursing home." And they always want to help the more aged 65 year old, especially when they don't need the help. I suspect one older person treats another of the same age that way was a means of reassuring him or herself that aging is for the other guy, not he or she.

Its' true some societies treat the elderly more reverently, but that is fading, and even those have stereotypes about the more elderly that are patronizing. I think if we all wore bags over our heads we might relate a little better to each other. Surely the bags would hide "our age" and even the playing field and eliminate some of those crazy age perceptions. Fact is, every age is good and bad for many reasons. None is ideal and age should vever define us, never be the criteria for any relationship. The trick to enjoying life at every age is to love whatever your age is and not let anyone else assign a stereotype as to what you should be like at "your age"....

Oh, just wondering, when did you start dying your hair....